Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Pricedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vampirefreak69
    Elite Ratio:    2.23 - 27/90/67
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 53
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 314



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Pricedots
    -------------------------------------------



    The dream,
    That damn dream,
    Is just that it seems…

    False propaganda,
    The stitching in the seams
    Of those stars and stripes.

    As the rich, get richer,
    The thin, get thinner
    Nothing getting smaller, but the bellies of our poor.




    Submitted on 2008-05-29 22:47:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't know how I feel about this piece. While I enjoyed your short, curt style, it felt a little..abstractly put, I suppose?

    The political image was clear, but it seemed to barely skim the surface. It made me feel like a crutial part was left out.

    You did a wonderful job writing though. The use of words was just right for such a piece.

    :)
    | Posted on 2008-05-30 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    161967



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry