[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: She Was Morn; and I, the Sundots

    Author: Peggy Paris
    ASL Info:    61/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 747/570/167
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1246
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1085

       This is a winning poem I posted recently in a writing challenge on another site. There's a challenge phrase tucked inside the poem. It uses personification in its look at birth, life, death, and even rebirth.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Was Morn; and I, the Sundots

    Along came morns own day for dreaming
    When dawns left hand was in the sky.
    She walked her path across my breathing;
    I heard a whimper in her cry.

    What course could lead her voice to tremble?
    What thought had she to wreck my fun?
    To listen seemed a lot of trouble;
    But she was morn and I, the sun.

    Confessions caste upon my shining
    Drew nimbus clouds to hide my rays;
    Before I dared dismiss her sighing,
    Shed turned my sky a dingy grey.

    She found my heart completely lacking;
    I failed to see her die at noon.
    I knew as night consumed my thinking
    That Id expire before eves moon.
    When next our eyes again came facing,
    I cherished morn for all her worth;
    And she, my love, now leaves me longing
    As I rise high above the Earth.

    Ive learned that times a morning fleeting;
    Both she and I share one accord.
    To kiss the morns my dream awaiting;
    To cherish her, my best reward.

    Submitted on 2008-05-30 21:50:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well Peggy, I am very happy to have found your page. I haven't been active in a log while and many of the members that used to post here seem to have vanished to other sites.Your poetry I seem to relate to, and so for the second time today, I have to say,--well done.

    I think what I like best is the personification and the charm it lends to this daily event. I like to think of the sun, moon, dawn, stars in this fashion, much as the ancients did. This is impeccably executed and a definite Fave.

    | Posted on 2008-11-30 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing I loved it. From conflict to resolution such a profound statement on life.

    Keep the poetry flowing my dear.

    | Posted on 2008-10-11 00:00:00 | by MumE039sGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      This beautiful piece reminded me of the appreciation of life and to live in the now. Very profound and I can see why it was a winner!

    Keep on keepin on Sharon!

    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif ~*~
    | Posted on 2008-06-27 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Like, I don't know how long you been on here but I've been here for years now and I've never seen writing this bangin (of course except for my own and what not). But you my good good sista, you are epic.

    As I said before. Fan yo, I'm definitely a fan.
    | Posted on 2008-06-18 00:00:00 | by red_summer | [ Reply to This ]
      just...awesome. nothing else to say.
    | Posted on 2008-06-03 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      "Confessions caste upon my shining
    Drew nimbus clouds to hide my rays;
    Before I dared dismiss her sighing,
    Shed turned my sky a dingy grey."

    I love the imagery that came to mind when I read this... I felt that I was there seeing it completely, your poems never fail to inspire me. Thanks for doing what you do so well.
    | Posted on 2008-06-02 00:00:00 | by metallichick786 | [ Reply to This ]
      What a delightful, lovely ode to the Sun's chasing the morning away! I'm a country boy, and I like poetry about nature and this is just superb! I've worked many long days under a harsh and tormenting Sun, and many was the time when I resented the Sun's harsh presence staunchly overwhelming the gentleness and freshness of the morning!! To really appreciate the morning, one needs to work in the out of doors exposed directly to the Sun from sunup to sundown on a mid-July day in the south!

    Excellent, excellent work, lovely lady!!
    | Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    The World written by jjd
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]