This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Deep

Author: JAcksonJr
ASL Info:    20/Male/NY
Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 56 /116 /57
Words: 190
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1004
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 1275


The ocean's revenge in liar's lungs

The Deep

She held on to a promise
one that from the start
was cast to sea
but she couldn't see
for the time she waited
as the ocean spread its waves
to every land but her own
she waited in silence
with unyielding endurance
for the hour that she would hear
the footsteps approaching near
but sometimes the sea
is more wrathful than fair
and sometimes promises
are only made of air
her tear is the only ripple
this ocean will ever return

this captain was lost
before his sails touched the wind
he left on a journey
that he wasn't ready to begin
when her ripples hit his ship
the ocean took its grip
and the water's embrace
is still wrathful
to those of no faith.

and what she got in return
wasn't the object for which she yearned
but instead she heard a whisper
carried gently by the wind
saying, "In return for promises unkept
and a curse of a princess, who wept,
'This I send out to sea,
a tear for the man I thought you'd be'
I now descend beneath
to the ocean’s wrathful deep.”

Submitted on 2008-05-31 10:21:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Holy [censored] dude that was so damn cool, pure favorite now,couldn't improve,love it lots,peace out!

| Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?