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    dots Submission Name: puppetdots

    Author: marray proetus
    ASL Info:    100/F/no where
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 24/32/30
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 579


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    You gave me a heart
    Using your graceful hand
    You took your time to perfect each part
    So that I could perform the duties
    That you planned.

    You gave me a mind
    Talking to me and holding me tight
    You were never unkind
    You told me what I could and couldn’t do
    I believed you were always right.

    Then you left me behind
    Saying that nothing was true
    And that I had been blind
    My heart and mind agreed
    After all I had been in love with you.

    Submitted on 2008-05-31 14:51:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Definately a very interesting piece.. You have a good idea for the theme of the poem, however I don't think you explored it as fully as you could have.. I loved the way you spoke of the creation, how the puppet was lovingly made, but I think you could have put more in to the emotion of the relationship between creator and creation.. I also loved how at the end you spoke of love, but again I think you could have delved more deeply in to how the love came about and how deep it was.. Overall a good start..
    | Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]

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