puppet by marray proetus

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Submission Name: puppet dots

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Author:	marray proetus
ASL Info:	100/F/no where
Elite Ratio:	3.9 - 24/32/30
Words:	97

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	855
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	579

Description:

puppet

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Puppet

You gave me a heart
Using your graceful hand
You took your time to perfect each part
So that I could perform the duties
That you planned.

You gave me a mind
Talking to me and holding me tight
You were never unkind
You told me what I could and couldn’t do
I believed you were always right.

Then you left me behind
Saying that nothing was true
And that I had been blind
My heart and mind agreed
After all I had been in love with you.

Submitted on 2008-05-31 14:51:15 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
Definately a very interesting piece.. You have a good idea for the theme of the poem, however I don't think you explored it as fully as you could have.. I loved the way you spoke of the creation, how the puppet was lovingly made, but I think you could have put more in to the emotion of the relationship between creator and creation.. I also loved how at the end you spoke of love, but again I think you could have delved more deeply in to how the love came about and how deep it was.. Overall a good start..
| Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.