Lutraphobia by Khosi

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Submission Name: Lutraphobia dots

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Author:	Khosi
ASL Info:	16/Chica/Illinois
Elite Ratio:	4.1 - 3/2/3
Words:	66

Class/Type:	Poetry/Comedy
Total Views:	47
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	550

Description:

Lutraphobia dots

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An ephemeral serendipity.
A parody of superb ideas,
Cognitive, mellifluous hypocrisy.
Glittering seas of fate,
A reflective, emmetropic scene...
Her motives cast ambiguous
Sweltering hell
Over any persons with eyes for her.
Hornswoggled by bathukolpian sirens
An abridged life...
Liquid embraced
Abdominous weight
With nothing to rid of.
Depths to chill;
What hope was left?
And in the end,
A leisurely float
To the sunlit surface.

Submitted on 2008-05-31 18:42:37 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
Well looks like somebodys been reading there Thesaurus. Extremely tedious language. Although overall its not unusual for early writers (only on an assumption here) Write a bunch of these and maybe some of those gigantic words your spewing will last in your memory so then you can begin to write in a natural voice. Again this is only an assumption but I don't think there is a single 16 year in the world with such a vast collection of obsolete words. I'm not just out to ridicule, I'm trying to help and be fair. I'll read your future writes and stuff
Keep Writing
Your Pal
Sethesin
| Posted on 2008-06-02 00:00:00 | by Sethesin | [ Reply to This ]
EXCELLENT JOB!!!!
You have quite a way with words my Friend
In this write you were easilly able to include many words I havent ever seen in a write and I might add you used them perfectly
To me your words sounded like they are written from a person who is on the verge of feeling defeated but their is still a feeling of hope the person you are writing about is refusing to let go
Again a Fantastic Job!!!
Im Looking forward to reading more from you in the future
Please also allow me to be one of the First to WELCOME you to Elite Skills
I Hope this site brings you all the Happiness it has brought to me
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
God Bless
Ron
AND AGAIN WELCOME!!!!
| Posted on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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