As I read this I could really imagine the emotion involved. What is the meaning of the imagery for the empty bottles? What's in them at first? I feel the pain the narrator expresses over those empty bottles and then tries to cover through laughter. The ending is very powerful. It's an ultimatum from staring at the possiblities that can almost come to be unless corrected. Reality sets in and so does life eventually.
I think the most powerful way the image empty bottles communicates is through hope. That you end by saying they can be filled back up. I love it. The poem starts strong and finishes powerfully with some great reflection in the middle. Very well done and keep on trekkin'!
You've caught my eyes there in the beginning of your piece. And I believe you've held my interest until the very ending of this piece. I like the concept of empty bottles. I think the title would work better as only "Empty Bottles". It's more mysterious. The way you got it right now, it's more than clear what you're about to talk about. So keep the mystery for a bit to blow us totally away.
Other than that, yep, our lives are a mess with the amount of mistakes we do. Things we say that we just wished we could have shut off or things we've done we wished we could have restrained ourselves from.
So great concept, great words. Just the part "Broken dreams and" in the title bugged me. Other than that, i'm impressed.
"Big wheel keep on turning, Proud mary keep on burning."
- Proud Mary, CCR
You've just got to keep on turning, my dear. You've just got to keep on "rollin' on the river", so to speak. Sure, we all make mistakes. We're human, we're imperfect.
Sometimes I envy the animals. They don't have to worry about making mistakes. They don't know what mistakes are. Mistakes are a human concept. Sometimes I wish I was a crane, spreading my wings and flying away, leaving all the bad things behind.
Unfortunately, that's not possible, so I'll have to try my best to be strong. And you should too, tiffany.
Now these empty bottles, what were they originally filled with? Is it alcohol, or something else? I'm curious. I don't want to assume that it's alcohol. Bottles hold more than just that.
Maybe they hold you, tiffany. Maybe you've got to fill them with yourself.
This piece tells me that we are so blindly following and appeasing our egoes that we can not pass on even one drop of love to our fellow so-journers who may in a gesture of friendship put our self-love into the proper perspective.
Very Strong Write Indeed!!!!
I really Love the way this whole write came together
In this write I get the feeling you are reflecting off some of the decisions you made in life and you realize you made some mistakes but all in all you refuse to give up and smartky you have learned from a negative experience
Not many of us can look at a negative situation and find the Positive to the Negative but you my Friend it seems were able to quite easily
Thats a very strong sign of a True and Honest Character
Looking forward to reading more from you in the future!!!
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think