Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lookingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JanePlane
    ASL Info:    125/F/everyplane
    Elite Ratio:    6.76 - 415/433/130
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 842
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 568



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLookingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Looking for that cool, clear stare that comes from the last hit of the first night of some endless binge.

    Looking for engorged, dripping breasts flapping flesh as the heaving, pounding sound of ecstasy licks at my ears.

    Looking for those words whispered--
    those Promises, Promises, Promises.
    And that wide-open orifice called Belief.

    But I can't see past the dried food on these plates
    or the broken crayons scattered on the floor
    or the cat licking and biting at her frayed and bony tail.




    Submitted on 2008-06-03 01:17:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      *frowns and plugs in the CPR unit for was_i_ever_real, just in case*

    I liked the word choice and composition of this poem.

    Often the things you're searching for have a horizon you can't see beyond, even when it's all you wish for. What rests is cannibalism, and it sure ain't pretty.
    | Posted on 2008-06-03 00:00:00 | by machine dream | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow!
    (breathed out of the mouth for a more dramatic a(e)ffect.

    talk about life coming and kicking you in the butt!!!!


    you want to know the line that made this piece mind blowing????

    or the broken crayons scattered on the floor

    damn.
    (breathed out of the mouth for a more dramatic a(e)ffect.
    | Posted on 2008-06-03 00:00:00 | by was_i_ever_real | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    162101

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry