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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: everything that i knowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 224
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 532
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1518



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotseverything that i knowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    it was everything
    that she could do not to scream.
    she had seen the carpet move
    that way before,
    but never on it's own.
    she had always hated carpet though,
    as have i,
    & the way that things seem to disappear
    almost of our own accord,

    i watched her move across everything,
    the air,
    the carpet, the linoleum
    as if effort
    were something lost to the common folk.
    as if she were the first
    to have done so.

    & yet she pretended
    to not be special.
    she pretended to be
    something small
    in this world
    that knew nothing of it.

    & i wondered how many words i could speak
    before i ruined it.
    before, somehow,
    i would turn into the other part of myself
    that no one could really believe.
    it wasn't long.

    i spoke to myself,
    before hand,
    in jutted cursing language,
    about how only the true me
    could win a heart.
    only me,
    with all of my cobras of intellect,
    no shields or deep chasms
    could ever really mean a thing to her.

    sometimes,
    the world that we wish for
    seems to come to late
    or never at all.
    i no longer wish for worlds though,
    only moments,
    created from the heart,
    & felt,
    so deeply,
    that they last
    through everything that i know...




    Submitted on 2008-06-03 04:34:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      you're a strange one.
    (in a good way)

    ...

    this begins so surreally. the carpet, the floor--moving on its ow. the ground dislodging itself from beneath feet. but this time, it wasn't caused by anything, just... natural shifting...

    and--worlds are unreliable. all we have is a breath out, the feel of grass upon thighs...

    hm.



    the one thing i wonder about (form-wise) is the use of "our" at the end of stanza 1.
    | Posted on 2008-06-03 00:00:00 | by sadtrapofgravit | [ Reply to This ]


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    12. Does it feel original?



    162107

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