Wacked by lonely goth

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Submission Name: Wacked dots

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Author:	lonely goth
ASL Info:	17/F/Coucil Idaho
Elite Ratio:	3.83 - 28/26/27
Words:	180

Class/Type:	Poetry/Alone
Total Views:	57
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1146

Description:
well....at the moment things in my life are hectic....so im just letting feelings out.please tell me what you think

Wacked

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im lost
divided

away from the world
isolated

they do not understand
the pain that i feel

nor do i expect them to
only for me does it seem real

so i cry in my cronic corner
and take another hit

hoping it will make things better
when really i just get lit

but when the smoke settles
and my thoughts come back to me

i realize im right back where i was
drowning in my lonely sea

i hide the bag
i hide the bong

mom comes in
and asks whats wrong

you see, i could tell her
giver her every detail

but she wouldnt understand
god i swear they bought me off retail

so i nicely ask her to leave
tell her everytings fine

she leaves me all alone
and its only half past nine

i grab my bag
i grab my bong
and take another hit

my eyes are red
my lips are cracked
whoever thought
life could be this wacked

Submitted on 2008-06-05 10:07:16 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I agree with a TheStillSilence. Your flow was superb. I sometimes feel like this because I've lost so many family members in the last few years, and I was really close with them. Now that they're gone. It feels as though my entire world is crashing down on me. I don't trust many ppl because of how this world is. Kudos to your work you are truly a brillant writer. Sorry for giving u my life story.

Poe09

Keep up the excellent work.
| Posted on 2008-08-28 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]
  i agree with the person below me. the flow of this piece was great!

it seems interesting how the flow is so fluent, and yet the story it tells is so chopped up.

it's a interesting piece! good job!!
| Posted on 2008-06-07 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
  Your rhyme scheme is fantastic. This entire piece flowed together as one thought spun out into a story.

I especially enjoyed your use of division on your lines and words. Your first two lines "I'm lost
/ divided" really set the mood for the whole thing. I very much enjoyed reading this.

Kudos
| Posted on 2008-06-05 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]
  Your rhyme scheme is fantastic. This entire piece flowed together as one thought spun out into a story.

I especially enjoyed your use of division on your lines and words. Your first two lines "I'm lost
/ divided" really set the mood for the whole thing. I very much enjoyed reading this.

Kudos
| Posted on 2008-06-05 00:00:00 | by Celeste J. Bell | [ Reply to This ]

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