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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Please, Take me away.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: xXCptn_SephyXx
    ASL Info:    22/f/PA
    Elite Ratio:    2.65 - 46/119/104
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 898
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 740



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPlease, Take me away.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world has ended,
    Lets hold hands;
    Together united as the Earth trembles,
    Suffocates and Falls.

    The sky has blown a fuse,
    Lets embrace;
    Forever content from the sun—
    Escaping the flare of light
    That reveals reality.

    The emotions flow freely from the veins,
    Opened with a piercing blade of vanity;
    And yet I am the one to suffer,
    To watch you fall into the ruins of the Earth

    Eyes gazing towards the pitch-black sky,
    Could not help but see—
    A beautiful light twinkling in the sky—
    As he approaches where I stand,
    He swiftly scoops me into his arms
    And carries me to eternal sleep.




    Submitted on 2008-06-06 13:00:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
       I must agree with Marry, an excellent piece and have favoured this one.

    Jamar2
    | Posted on 2008-10-07 00:00:00 | by jamar2 | [ Reply to This ]
      Jeez...this is really good (if only I could write like this).

    "Together united as the Earth trembles,
    Suffocates and Falls."

    You use personification and connotaive language through out the poem. This is a line which I really like.

    Are you talking about death or the end of the earth. Because the first two stanzas seem to be talking about how we unite towards the end of an apocolypse, while the last two stanzas are talking about death and an angel coming and taking you away.

    Marray


    | Posted on 2008-06-06 00:00:00 | by marray proetus | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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