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    dots Submission Name: darknessdots

    Author: jjd
    ASL Info:    20/male/Griffin, Ga.
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 20/78/34
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1134
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 655


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    In a dark corner
    She is the greatest mourner

    She is made of fear
    She is everywhere,including "here"

    Fear makes her rise above
    Fear is destroyed only by love

    She weaves nightmare for children
    And for adults she creates sins

    For the old she creates death
    And takes their last breath

    Her helper is the raven,the bird of the night
    Never giving her any sort of light

    Flying her so high
    In the darkened sky

    She is the Goddess of the Night
    Never letting in any light

    Submitted on 2008-06-09 12:10:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this ones pretty cool 2....i like whispers better tho!!!
    | Posted on 2009-07-12 00:00:00 | by ShadowGaze | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad at all
    This is a strong write that I also found to be very sad
    I too have lived my life in the dark in the past and I know how painful it is to live like that
    It wassnt until I let the light in (The Love of The Lord) that life became anew and everything started working out
    If this write has anything to do with your own life I do Pray you find the happiness you are looking for
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2008-06-18 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It flowed nicely and (for the most part) the rhyme was consistant. You described the lovely, lonely angel very well. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    | Posted on 2008-06-09 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked it. nice metaphor!

    i got that she was sort of the Angle of Death. you know. because she is represented by darkness and night and "takes their last breath"

    your imagry was awsome. i could feel like she was standing next to me.

    when writing try to keep a meter. it makes the flow of the poem, well, flow. it wraps the whole poem up and tranzitons from line to line making it meaning ful. i really liked how your couplets rhymed. awsome (its a common thing in my poetry and ilove it in others)
    just remember dont force a word to rhyme. its better to have it not rhyme than be forced.

    all in all AmaZinG!

    much love

    | Posted on 2008-06-09 00:00:00 | by annie smith | [ Reply to This ]

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