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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dead Herodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: the heartless
    ASL Info:    15/male/LA
    Elite Ratio:    3.46 - 24/68/43
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 61
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1117



    Description:
       This is a peice of writing you need to read then study the writing form of it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDead Herodots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your hero, is someone who protects you
    Your hero, is someone who never rejects you
    Your hero, is yours and yours alone
    Your hero, is the one you love most

    That hero, always saves you
    That hero, was there as you grew
    That hero, is modest and humble
    That hero, fades slowly

    Their hero, is great enough to do it all
    Their hero, can move any rock, large or small
    Their hero, always has to boast
    Their hero, was your hero

    The hero, lives to protect
    The hero, will never reject
    The hero, is everyone elses
    The hero, is the one you hate most

    Your hero, is someone who protects you
    That hero, was there as you grew
    Their hero, always has to boast
    The hero, is the one you hate most

    It was the hero you loved most, that faded slowly, it was hero, now you hate it most.

    Dead hero, was loved
    Dead hero, faded
    Dead hero, was a hero
    Dead hero, was hated

    Dead hero's last words were, I love you.




    Submitted on 2008-06-10 08:00:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I Liked this though I also found this to be very sad
    To me you are speaking of someone who has Lost their faith or trust in God because something that has happended to them
    Sadly a lot of People blame God for their own mistakes and trials and tribulations
    How I wish People wouldnt blame God for their own mistakes
    God gave us freedom of will and we have our own mind to choose right or wrong
    Sadly it seems people make the wrong choice more then the right one be it from greed or some other reason
    The style you wrote this in is very well done as thr reader can easily follow along
    Again Nice Job!!!

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2008-06-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem a lot, and I am glad you pointed out in your description to study the form, because it's really nice.

    My suggestion to improve this would be to play with your words a little more. Your flow is fine and all but things like "all" and "small" )for example) are such common words. It doesn't have to be crazy humongous, no-one-knows-what-they-mean words, but I think it would be nice if there was a little more depth in the word choice to match the content.

    Good Job, Keep writing
    ~Venia
    | Posted on 2008-06-10 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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