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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When Dreamingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sheakhan
    ASL Info:    21/M/FL
    Elite Ratio:    5.72 - 163/168/73
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Prose/Longing
    Total Views: 98
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 622



    Description:
       This is why I am never truly pleased with my lot.

    Because I know that there is no fear or wonder or discovery left on our bleak planet.

    Leastways anything I am likely to come to know.

    I would I were an inhabitant of this dreamnt up reality.

    Struggling to survive is better than not having to even think about it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen Dreamingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When dreaming,
    My sunlight is sifted through
    an air thick with dust and pollution.
    My trees are ravaged streetlights.
    My mountains are collosal concrete shells
    that once scraped the sky.

    When dreaming,
    My fellow man is an emaciated bunch.
    we starve for everything we once
    had in abundance.
    Air, water, warmth, food, compassion.

    When dreaming,
    the harshness is a glorious and welcomed change from this waking place we inhabit.

    Because,
    When dreaming,
    at least the world has character.




    Submitted on 2008-06-10 14:33:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
       And this is the very reason I write the types of things i do, to give the world character in ones mind, much like a dream. Without the imagination our world would be a dull and horrible garbage heap, but also the things that make it that way were made using the imagination so where we would be without it, probably dead. so all in all oru imagination will save us and destory us both in the end. Anyway i belive your writing is very realistic and was not writen badly. And you had a good amount of adjective use not to much and not to little. It also has an ok flow.
    | Posted on 2008-11-04 00:00:00 | by dGeRzEzEyN | [ Reply to This ]
      A lot of great things have been done because of boredom. A lot of awful ones also share a similar light. But the thing is, a lot of people don't know how dangerous and powerful lethargy is. When life stops losing purpose or meaning or character... it becomes more painful then anything else.

    Anyway, this piece is pretty solid. I wish I have more to add but...
    | Posted on 2008-06-10 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]


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