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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the sacrificedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gwenn sundala
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 76/70/51
    Words: 138
    Class/Type: Story/Passion
    Total Views: 680
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 869



    Description:
       i wrote this when my fiance borke up with me three years ago. at the time, i was devastated, and i wrote this in my despair. after our breakup, he had turned away from his faith and all, so this was supposed to be him in the future looking back and seeing the hell he caused me and asking himself, "was it worth it?"


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    dotsthe sacrificedots
    -------------------------------------------


    they never thought this would happen,
    or that he would amount to anything.
    putting them in their place,
    he arose to victory.
    even his own family was shocked;
    repentance had ere fore been lost on him
    since the death of his first beliefs.
    he now rises up and stands strong;
    opressed still, but not unwilling to accept help.
    pride, his family now feels,
    ever more, they shall celebrate his victory.

    later in life, he looked back and saw secrets hidden;
    is it worth it? he wonders,
    saving my life in hopes of better work,
    yet at the cost of hers?
    someone please say i did the right thing,
    leaving her to a death that
    i may now have a better life.
    free my soul from this torment,
    else i shall perish; and her sacrifice be in vain...




    Submitted on 2008-06-10 18:42:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      that's really sad. I mean I've seen the move up the ladder bull once or twice and i really do hate it. It's really really uncool. You wrote about it nice though, even though it's not a nice moment. The middle break gave the good twist feel and the old English is a nice add in, i miss old English [ i hate how English is spelled with cap. E a-Ha ]

    kevin
    | Posted on 2009-06-25 00:00:00 | by every48seconds | [ Reply to This ]
      Life is a struggle that we're always trying to win. Hopefully, the sacrifices along the way prove to be worth it in the end. This piece has depth, but I think I understood it well. May the rocks in your path turn to pebbles! Sharon
    | Posted on 2008-06-17 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      It's good but I dont really understand the topic because you make it so vague. Is this about religion? If you maybe elaborated a little, it wouldnt seem so confusing.
    | Posted on 2008-06-10 00:00:00 | by SaddenedSongbrd | [ Reply to This ]


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