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    dots Submission Name: feathered spiesdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 171
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 559
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1175


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsfeathered spiesdots

    the softness of laughter
    is lost on me.

    & as subtle as the moon may be,
    the strong pull
    of the sun
    no longer calls to me.

    i see someone,
    at times,
    staring at me
    with those busted birds
    & i honestly wonder
    why i bothered
    to have a body
    at all.

    i dream
    of children in my sleep
    that come to me
    & toss
    palms full of smiles
    at my feet.

    then i awaken
    to some living body-miracle
    that i can't define.
    the surface of my life
    seems so intangible
    at times.
    as if it were always slipping,
    like i do,
    into a cathedral of mind.

    i wish the whole of the world
    to open into me
    wherever i am.
    & for it to swallow me
    beneath the coolness
    of it's land.

    i need to grave into something
    before i die.
    i need loose trees,
    tall skies
    filled with feathered spies...
    i need something
    that i'll probably never find.

    Submitted on 2008-06-11 14:01:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i liked it.

    nice piece although almost annoyingly apathetic to anything that resembles form or flow.
    which is fine.
    | Posted on 2008-06-13 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      i disagree strongly with what paradox said... i think that poetry is a writer's way of depicting their thoughts and inner conflicts and is ultimately theirs alone. i love this write because it is almost like a train of thought and the words flow like a song. keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2008-06-12 00:00:00 | by Ali Marie | [ Reply to This ]
      Hm... This is good although a bit ego-centric. A poem should not be just about you the writer and your way to interpret things. You should expand your mind a bit more and let your thoughts wander all over this world. Then write about it. Anyways, it's a good write!
    | Posted on 2008-06-11 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]

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