Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Coming raindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: isis_lenore
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 334/124/45
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 79
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1094



    Description:
       it is about a relationship.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsComing raindots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the morn- deceit, deceiving,

    A hushed sky mixed

    Peacefully with the husky

    Laugh of a traveling wind.

    A shrewd storm,       (that it was)

    Sneaking in on padded toes

    Silently shepherding the sun

    Into its’ thievery den

    Of smoking grays

    And bruised horizon

    A whisper, all it gave away

    Before the crashing

    Crushing blow of

    Wasted Lies.



    now it is-



    Into the depths

    Into the night

    a cavernous hole,

    gaping.       (Everlasting,

          it was suppose to be?)

    a promise shrivels,

    unprotected in the wild

    throws of a violent rain

    it is left alone, to die.








    Submitted on 2008-06-14 19:22:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "supposed" for line19?

    It doesn't matter much, but the reason for having capital letters on your lines, but not on some of them near the end, is not obvious.

    You made me recall quite vividly and emotionally, the shrivelling of promises and the wasting of lies, being lured into thievery dens and the oncoming of surly storm times: a successful poem with this reader!
    | Posted on 2008-10-16 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I think she was talking about the death of rain not otherwise. Like how a storm consumes it's own self. I enjoyed the poem. You seem to be a good writer. I'm off to your page to see what other stuff you wrote.
    | Posted on 2008-06-17 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      I disagree- rain is new life not death.

    Over all a good write I think the parentheses threw me a tad bit but I lovee description of the sky

    ~Carrie
    | Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by dismal_s child | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.