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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: release and let outdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 675
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 604



    Description:
       kind of a joke and at the same time the idea of release in the way i have presented it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsrelease and let outdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look above your face
    at the sky above your head
    and the blues contrast with the pinks
    the gold I need most
    I still won't find
    the ugly head that left me hear
    hanging just a moment away from the last time I set out for the same answer as today
    if there were something to look forward to
    it wouldn't be important
    I would try and relieve this somewhere else
    but as it is
    there is just the simple desire
    just the quaint little space to piss in
    until I find the proper place
    to let off loads




    Submitted on 2008-06-15 10:43:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Disgusted about something? Hmm . . . I'm gonna check out the longer ones later -- the longer "poetry" -- just really busy now. From what it looks like -- you've been extremely busy. Found a new source of inspiration?
    | Posted on 2008-07-11 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of this one time when I was talking to a friend of mine and I was upset by something she said. So I told her I had to go and then left.

    She seemed bothered by the fact that I left without saying goodbye or any real explanation.

    I don't know if this piece is about something similar or not, but that is what it reminds me of.

    It sounds like something happened and the speaker is/was perturbed with someone for just disappearing or leaving as evidenced in "the ugly head that left me hear (sic) / hanging just a moment away ... "

    Here "if there were something to look forward to / it wouldn't be important" suggests the speaker feels that something to look forward to is in doubt and that if it weren't the thing to look forward to wouldn't actually be worthwhile to begin with. A dissatisfaction with the target of the speaker's ire/lament and also a suggestion that the speaker interacts with the target on an intermittant basis.

    "but as it is / there is just the simple desire / just the quaint little space to piss in / until I find the proper place / to let off loads"

    The speaker is frustrated not only with the target but also with the fact that the speaker has little recourse in the matter.

    I empathize to some extent with this poem and if it is autobiographical, I hope things went well in the end. I know the situation I mentioned earlier with my friend was never fully resolved because we both didn't tell everything in the reconciliation and I had lied about why I left. Life, eh? Good luck.

    As for the joke. I have no sense of humor. Everything you list as comedy I fail to find comedic.

    Typo: "hear" in the context should be "here"
    | Posted on 2008-06-24 00:00:00 | by Sir Jimeth | [ Reply to This ]


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