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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: shiversdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sadtrapofgravit
    ASL Info:    103.f.wa
    Elite Ratio:    7.2 - 178/167/66
    Words: 33
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 94
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 271



    Description:
       bipolar weather.

    effing kills me...


    ....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsshiversdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Heat
    is overrated.
    And shivers
    are like small deaths.

    My teeth chattered,
    from Denmark
    back:
    each tremor
    like a vertebra,
    bump bump bumping
    from my chest
    to my nose
    to my soles...




    Submitted on 2008-06-16 04:14:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Uh thats the poet gift there...

    Yeah as below states it is really great how you describe a shiver,imagery,originality,pace,all the usual things in a good poem are there,I know its just a short piece but I liked it a lot,

    sounds like Denmark allright

    Talk to you

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2008-08-23 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]
      It's amazing how you take something commonplace and make it extraordinary.
    | Posted on 2008-08-10 00:00:00 | by Hecate | [ Reply to This ]
      and slivers of ice
    beneath my skin
    draw breath
    coalesce and scrape
    glacial permafrost
    to frozen flame

    winter is summer's
    other name


    Couldn't resist the opportunity to respond to your chilly dilemma. Enjoy Denmark until the tropics arrive at your doorstep.

    Bill
    | Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?    		7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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    January 10 07
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