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blind retort

Author: diamondmind
Elite Ratio:    8 - 15 /5 /2
Words: 23
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1197
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 163



blind retort

I just want to sit here,
wrapped in ice and smoke,
and whisper,

and release breaths
that make me shiver
inside myself...

Submitted on 2008-06-16 16:21:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
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4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  shiver inside myself
denying anyone's help
noone to trust for a hand
all reach out to give demands
before doing a good deed
help only comes from the gread

thanks for commenting on my poem
| Posted on 2008-06-20 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
  what does anyone know of
... um...


and the sound
of forever

humming though your ears

as if
this was


the rhythm
and devotion

of feeling
as if

a goddamn purpose

with one eye closed

an unpleasant
| Posted on 2008-06-20 00:00:00 | by discombobulated | [ Reply to This ]
  This write to me is a sad write explaining the dangers of drug abuse
I may be wrong but that is the feeling I get from this
I have been through this pain myself and now Thank God I am sober going on 3 years
If I am right on my assumption Please get some Help as I Promise you there is Help ourt there if you really want it
Excellent Job!!!
Though short you immediately got right to the point
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
God Bless
| Posted on 2008-06-19 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  moments that pass with sleeting sideways glance s intoxicate me. i love poems that catch them, that's what i try to do now.

like catching shadows. very nice little piece, i hope you write more.

very very nice.

it one of those that just gets better every time you reread it.

| Posted on 2008-06-18 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
  I think I've been there. Well, that is, assuming that I haven't misunderstood your piece. To me, this puts me back in that moment when I want to radiate beauty and to create something that matters but there seems to be no fire that is lit inside me so whatever it is that I produce has no power or demanding weight.

Given that solidification, I think that the title works well.
| Posted on 2008-06-17 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
  your words bring a curiosity as to where you might be, what you might be thinking...

i am having trouble with the title of the poem, the sense of sight does not seem to have much to do with the words you've shared. sometimes, the more abrupt the thought, the more difficult it is to understand the true message.

no matter, your words contain a real intricacy. well done.

| Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by wonderbread1000 | [ Reply to This ]
  oooh, nice! short but rich. love line 2. terrific work here.

peace, love and all that other junk,

| Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]

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