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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Breathedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jkhutchings
    Elite Ratio:    1.18 - 3/8/26
    Words: 29
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 205



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBreathedots
    -------------------------------------------


    early summer still a chill
    morning dew crystal
    sun crests mountain
    birds begin to sing
    many a song
    air alive fresh
    awake at last I am......






    Submitted on 2008-06-16 19:59:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is good poem.

    I am very close to telling you to leave it as it is and not change it at all, but that would be stupid. Everything, no matter how delightful, can be even more spectacular.

    Some things to try to see if you like them:

    +You have written a scene, basically. Now try writing a person's or animal's or even plant's reaction to this scene.

    +Write it out in plain-speak. For example: "It is early summer. There is still a chill" See how many different ways you can write it out. When you're done, rewrite it as a different poem. See how different you can make it coming from the same place.

    +Make it into a haiku. I have written many a haiku, and I love them.
    | Posted on 2008-06-20 00:00:00 | by WhatYouWill | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    162576

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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