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    dots Submission Name: Breathedots

    Author: jkhutchings
    Elite Ratio:    1.18 - 3/8/26
    Words: 29
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 967
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 205


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    early summer still a chill
    morning dew crystal
    sun crests mountain
    birds begin to sing
    many a song
    air alive fresh
    awake at last I am......

    Submitted on 2008-06-16 19:59:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is good poem.

    I am very close to telling you to leave it as it is and not change it at all, but that would be stupid. Everything, no matter how delightful, can be even more spectacular.

    Some things to try to see if you like them:

    +You have written a scene, basically. Now try writing a person's or animal's or even plant's reaction to this scene.

    +Write it out in plain-speak. For example: "It is early summer. There is still a chill" See how many different ways you can write it out. When you're done, rewrite it as a different poem. See how different you can make it coming from the same place.

    +Make it into a haiku. I have written many a haiku, and I love them.
    | Posted on 2008-06-20 00:00:00 | by WhatYouWill | [ Reply to This ]

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