You ..the one who I thought cared
You ..the one I sometimes feared
You ..the one I still ... care for
I love you ...
But still I loathe you
Burn inside and burn aside my soul
Let your flesh peel and feel what my heart seals
Seals deep within me
Crying and lying to me
As it Rises...Then Falls
Deep in me
Too a sea of despair tearing me apart
sharing no love or even a harp
symbols of love
symbols of nothing ness
It was nothing to you
I was nothing to you
In me ... that’s all I saw
Could it have been that
I’m simply insecure ....
do I really need you that much?
will you really answer all my questions
You... The one who I believed lied an cried
Right in my eyes
spilling your heart like the left over hazelnut coffe
freshly made .. For you
where tears lie, where I lied
| wow, this girl musta done somethin really bad to ya. i hope ur over her now, life can't be wasted...it's all too valuable. the poem jumps off the my screen because of the way everything was delicatley spaced and worded. it's interesting and heart wrenching...because you do convey lots of emotion for this girl. this is coming from the depths of ur heart and soul, that's the best type of writing. great job, and hope ur doin better.||| Posted on 2005-07-22 00:00:00 | by bluecrane | [ Reply to This ] || ive had bad experiences with girls named jessica, they just dont know how to treat somebody, i can see that here. you felt mad and you expressed it along with emotion but not getting off the subject, all the couldnt quite get the flow, but thats still good it didnt take away from it all ... good job||| Posted on 2005-08-03 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ] || thats really got to hurt as far as an experience like that. |
I think the poem itself could use a bit of work, there are a couple awkward places, (yes I'm picky) but i could just be that its not my style of piece. It did show how Jessica made you feel though, and for that what I see, I will say I'm sorry.
|| Posted on 2004-07-05 00:00:00 | by Anarius | [ Reply to This ] || She is a disgrace to Jessicas everywhere. I myself am a Jessica but not like that one. I really liked your poem though. It caught my interest the whole time i read it, nothing boring about it, though it was confusing here and there but i'm sooo simple minded so no biggy. |
|| Posted on 2004-07-04 00:00:00 | by Jan | [ Reply to This ] || it's a bit confusing cause it jumps from one thought to another. and you need to proof-read this. there are some typos and sometimes I'm not sure about the grammar. and I would leave out the secound elipsis ( the ...) in the fourth line. it's a bit strange. but your images are really good. the line about the hazelnut coffee is great.||| Posted on 2004-07-04 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ] || good poem. its confusing how you say you can still care and hate her at the same time. not all jessicas are the same. mine is great. hope i dont end up as heart broken as the poem. good write||| Posted on 2004-07-03 00:00:00 | by nameless_nobody | [ Reply to This ] |