An eternal abyss.
That's all it is.
When would it be filled?
And what would she be filled with?
When would she be fixed?
She collapsed on the floor... Again. Passed out... Her legs pressed together, knees bent in to her chest. Tears still ran down her face. Hair in a mess, several strands stuck to her cheek from the salty liquid. Her apartment was small, at best. It stank of mold growing on her bathroom floor. She always asked herself, "When am I going to get rid of that?". Naturally, she wouldn't. She would go on, the same old routine every single day, except Saturdays. Saturdays were special. That was when she would visit her mom, who was sick in a mental hospital, half high, of course.
Her fingers twitched, moving some pennies on the 70's carpet, shaggy and red. Then she awoke. It was four in the morning. She looked around, wondering where the hell she was. But she remembered the lamp, the one in the corner with cheap beads that she herself made in middle school for an art project. She smiled. She was exactly where she needed to be, at least in her mind. Rubbing her head, she exhaled "What a night. I should call Oliver. He's probably going crazy without me." The clock read 4:17 am. "Never mind. I guess I should just go to sleep...", she said sadly. The bathroom was dirty. Toothpaste, along with a toothbrush, mouthwash, and soap were on the moldy ground. It didn't matter to her though. It wasn't as if she took her body seriously. Personal hygiene was the last thing on her mind. You can guess what her priority was. The drugs.
She undressed herself, throwing her clothes in a corner, one without the mold. The water felt cold as it ran down the nape of her neck and the small of her back. Everything was cold. Everything, it seemed, except her boyfriend. He was her strength. She stuck her hand out of the shower, searching for a towel. Instead, she found something better. A hand.
"Tess. I missed you. I'm sorry if I scared you... I let myself in. You left the door unlocked, again. You got to stop doing that!"
"Aww. Just wait in my room! I'll be out in a second."
He stepped into the other room, sitting on the bed, smiling at the lamp in the corner. It reminded him of middle school. Things were so much simpler then, he thought to himself. Tess walked into the room, wearing just her bra and underwear. She sat next to Oliver, kissing him on the neck softly.
"How have you been? You seem tired."
"Good. I just had to visit you. I sneaked out so we could be together tonight."
"That's sweet, Oliver! You didn't have to do that. I know your mom gets pissed off because I'm your girlfriend."
They exchanged many words. The spoke of things like the election, the local kidnappings, and how their summer together would be. Oliver leaned over to Tess. He lightly pushed her against the pillows behind her. He took off his clothes, while at the same time caressing her body, thinner than it was six months ago. Oliver slid her underwear below her feet. He kissed her chest and trailed lighter ones down her stomach. He moved her legs around his hips, moving into her. She groaned in pleasure. In the middle of his climax he whispered in her ear, "You're my girl, Tess." After her high, they laid next to each other. They gazed into each other's eyes. They knew love when they looked at each other. He looked away from her big hazel eyes.
"Tess. You need to change. I can't..."
"You can't what??", she said getting up to sit upright.
"I can't... be with you if you're going to go on doing... ", he stopped. His eyes welled up with tears.
"Doing what?? Oliver, you don't understa-"
"You can't fucking ruin your body. It's beautiful. You're beautiful. But you change when you do that shit, Tess. Please, for me. Stop."
She opened her mouth, but she couldn't find the words to say to him. She couldn't look him in the eye and lie.
"I... can't. I cant, Oliver. I'm addicted... There isn't a way."
"Rehab. Something. Do it. Please. I'm fucking begging you here. I'll take you. First thing tomorrow."
"Oliver! You're overreacting! No, no!"
"Do you or do you not want to be with me?"
"I do, Oliv-"
"Then that's it. Tomorrow. Be ready. 10 am. Okay?"
"I got to go... my mom's probably worrying about me. Listen. It's for a good cause. I love you, Tess. See you tomorrow. Bye."
He leaned in, pulling her neck to him, and giving her a kiss on the forehead.
Tess sank into her sheets. She cried herself to sleep that night. A life without drugs? That was the worst for an addict, but it had to be done. The next morning Oliver picked her up. She was sent to rehab, willingly. Her own renewal had started. Her life was about to change drastically. Withdrawal would take a toll on her body, but it was all for the good. The events that followed were all positive.
She was filled.
She was fixed.