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    dots Submission Name: Shed These Sheetsdots

    Author: Cloacina
    ASL Info:    25/F/KY
    Elite Ratio:    5.24 - 20/53/54
    Words: 237
    Class/Type: Poetry/You left me
    Total Views: 814
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1589


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShed These Sheetsdots

    like waking,
    remembers the beginning
    For in dreams,
    time and space give way before us,
    As if we remember how to be gods in our sleep,
    And are born into ignorance anew as we awake.

    We fall deeper into unconsciousness,
    deeper into time,
    and surface from slumber,
    years before last night,
    Only to arrive at today,
    8 hours later,
    but lifetimes away.

    And in the night,
    We return to the source,
    For darkness, unformed,
    gave way to everything,
    And everything,
    into the darkness,
    shall give way to nothing.

    The morning from darkness,
    washes the world in blue,
    And Godís shadow is recalled upon the face of the deep,
    as it was so long ago.

    I find Adam laying next to me,
    So I pretend weíve got hope
    And I lie to myself
    make believe we can keep paradise this time,
    We donít have to always fall for snakes,
    And apples don't look all that good,
    next to love,
    which is Divine.

    Adam offers no false pretense,
    but, letís me wrap my arms around him.
    And knowing I cannot always dream,
    I measure the moment in milliseconds,
    And breathe Eden into me,
    While I can still touch the gates,
    Until he surfaces from a time when we were in love,
    And sheds my sheets like snake skin,
    A knowing in his heart,
    that his tongue denies,
    We will never lay here again.

    Submitted on 2008-06-17 21:23:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow. well written. my favorite was

    And in the night,
    We return to the source,
    For darkness, unformed,
    gave way to everything,
    And everything,
    into the darkness,
    shall give way to nothing.

    though id say the last stanza really wrapped everything all together. Love really is an extraordinary part of life, even if it is subtle. I think you did an amazing job with the whole adam and eve thing. I swear I've read similair material from you about such people and the place of eden. Which really is an amazing concept.

    I have no quarrel so I really cant critique this any better then I just did. AMAZING!~ 10 points.

    | Posted on 2008-06-18 00:00:00 | by siroez | [ Reply to This ]
      The title is intriguing but its contents are a surprise. This biblical account will always puzzle Adam's progeny as to why would someone wish to trade the wonders of the known but that of the unknown. We can only guess that man possessing a touch of the divine let greed of possessing the power of God undo the whole fabric of God's will for man. from that day forth man has lived in a paradise of fantasy wishing to regain that which was lost. The fantasy came to an end when The Father sent His Son to regain Eden for us by our regeneration if willing to follow Him.
    | Posted on 2008-06-18 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      An absolutely wonderful poem about the brevity and reality of life, symbolized as the world of humanity where which Adam and eve were cast. A world of love, and seconds that pass on and on, and ebb and flow, with dreams and harmonies, all at once. A world you can enter at night, when all is said and done, a brief respite from the mortal prison (not meant to be depressing, only confining). Your dreams are human too, you dream of an adam, your own personal eden, where the fears and miscalculations of being awake just dont hold up to fantasy of it all.

    Its really beautiful, and well written. It gets a favorite by me... thank you for the pleasant read. Why must we always pave over our paradise before we ever feel at home?
    | Posted on 2008-06-18 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]

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