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    dots Submission Name: The Choicedots

    Author: dorianrydell
    ASL Info:    17/m/cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.36 - 20/30/26
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 724


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    dotsThe Choicedots

    the choice is where we choose to fall
    in despair or not at all
    pushing forward never sure
    lost your way because of her
    never tiny never small
    to go right now or not at all
    keep on going and you might fall
    finding nothing brings a pain
    the shirts we wear are far to plane
    seven days ill go insane
    bring me something i search in vain
    wondering where we are
    finding solice in a bar
    over the shores the tide is coming
    grab the car and drive away
    the world must hear what you have to say
    eight days have gone by
    you dont remember where or why
    run away into the sea
    ending where never meant to be

    Submitted on 2008-06-18 18:53:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      This is pretty good. The rhyme scheme is a little much to bear, but it works well. At times I thought the piece was gonna get a little clichéd, but just when you were about to do that you steered us back onto the road. It is strongely emotive, and original. A piece to be proud of.
    | Posted on 2008-06-20 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, strangely good. poe
    | Posted on 2008-06-19 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]

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