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    dots Submission Name: Deity of Dancedots

    Author: Ali Marie
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 105/106/76
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 667
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 808


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    dotsDeity of Dancedots

    The dance of my spirit, intertwined in reality,
    takes its turns and spins among the painted worlds.
    The dips and twists fill with emotion and chemistry.
    This free-flowing music embraces the curves,
    takes on a life of its own.
    The mastery of the promenade takes years to complete.
    With the experience of a lifetime,
    the dance becomes a magnificent
    flow of soul and reality-
    never sure which is the lead.
    The fading of the melody finishes
    with a bow, a curtsy.
    A changing of partners~
    my very essence gracefully accepts the hand-
    the hand of the Deity.
    I am blessed with the wisdom of all secrets.
    He twirls my soul
    as if there is no other purpose
    but this very dance...

    Submitted on 2008-06-19 17:43:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This poem is wonderful and descriptive. You speak about the dance very well, and the rhythm of the piece never halts, though to me it falters a bit over the word "magnificent" on the eighth line. I think it would help the meter more if you used a three-syllable word instead.

    This poem is so lyrical it could be sung.

    I especially like when you say you don't know which is in the lead -- soul or reality.
    | Posted on 2008-06-20 00:00:00 | by WhatYouWill | [ Reply to This ]

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