Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: treesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WhatYouWill
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 65/76/35
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/Childrens
    Total Views: 845
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1095



    Description:
       You've always wanted to know what they were thinking...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotstreesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The trees are so old
    they can't remember why they are standing here.

    The oak thinks that his mother carried him here
    when he was very small, but he isn't quite sure.

    The elm thinks she was merely adventuring
    when the ivy sprang out of the ground
    and bound her to this very spot.

    But the ivy thinks she is the elm's twin sister
    and that they are joined as the same tree.

    The blackberry bush thinks he was delivered to the forest,
    bundled up in a package and stamped by some all-knowing god of blackberries.

    The hawthorne thinks that she is eternal and immortal
    and that she has always been here
    and always will be.

    The aspen shivers and wishes that it wasn't so cold.

    And the cuckoo bird smiles knowingly,
    as if she knew something the others didn't,
    where there is food to be found,
    when the spring will come,
    or what a seed is,
    and how it looks when it floats in the breeze.




    Submitted on 2008-06-20 13:39:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      To me, this feels like an allegory.

    Living in a country practically ruled by old Catholics, I think I know those trees that you speak of. They are the old ones. The tragedy, however, is not their age but rather it is the fact that they grew old without the ability to move around the world, to see different perspectives apart from such a high and downsizing view of everything around them. But since they are "old trees" it would've been impossible for them to yank out their roots to move around. That is the case for most of the old people in our country. We've been colonized by Spain for years and they have instilled the catholic faith in such a way that without it, they feel as though they would lose their ability to live.

    I also know of the little Cuckoo. The young who can move around the world with just a flick of a button. They've seen different views of the world. But the trees, being that they are old trees, can do nothing more than call them "cuckoo."

    I've only read two pieces from you so far. But from what I've read, I think you have a very clean and solid style. It doesn't seem contrived and it is very clear on what it has to say without forgoing wit or other aesthetic elements that can make the work pleasing. I also like the symbols and the way you choose them. It gives a sense of childishness to hide the mature undercurrent. It also allows the piece to bridge aesthetic and generation gaps.

    As I've said... very solid. I think I'll read more of your work in the future.
    | Posted on 2010-10-20 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is very different from most of the ones by you that I've read. It has an almost playful feeling, while most of your work is more serious. It's interesting to see you write in a different style.

    I'm not sure the first two lines are necessary. The poem really is self-explanatory.

    I like how each paragraph is like a snapshot of the tree. (My favorites are the ones about the blackberry and the ivy.)

    It's true, I have always wondered what they think...
    | Posted on 2008-08-02 00:00:00 | by LunaMoth | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    162764

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Giving written by jjd
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Linger written by saartha
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry