Why didn’t they just put me up for adoption?
because it was 1958
and when you got a girl pregnant
you married her
she was a good little white Irish Catholic girl
so to marry her was a step up
for a Lithuanian guy from the slums
so they had me

Me
who would forever be
the symbol of their sinful mistake
they wanted to have sex
he thought he was so lucky
to be with someone like her
and she was crazy attracted
to Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome

Therefore I came into existence
so he did the right thing
and they got married
I was a mistake
and my siblings
were an attempt to make it right

That’s why they are the family
and I am the outsider

My brother holds them in such high esteem
just like he holds himself
my sisters are safely warm and loved
because they were planned
no one admits that I was the mistake
that created this family
but at least my mom tried
to atone for this dysfunction
I was brought up with

You know what?
I don’t care
because I have had a full and fun life
but more importantly
I have my Casey

He is my miracle
and one to all of us
brilliant and strong
a grown up way before his time
they criticize me for that
but I recognize
what a phenomenon it’s been
that he is him

So fuck you
you made the mistake
that you have made me pay for
all my life
but it doesn’t matter
because my Casey
makes my whole life worth it

It’s your loss
you, the perfectionists
projecting the perfect family
hiding the dysfunction that will continue
through the generations

Until another me
some time, somewhere down the road
will set you all straight

I can’t wait
to meet that child