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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: untitleddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sirbongatron
    ASL Info:    19/M/NC
    Elite Ratio:    5.01 - 19/16/20
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Childrens
    Total Views: 82
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 545



    Description:
       I don't like this. Was never good at poetry, but a friend said she liked it so just wondering what others think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsuntitleddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I remember the time when I lost my mind
    The sky was green and wind unkind
    It blew me about and I let out a shout
    And that’s when I lost my mind

    It flew out my ear, and bounced away
    A ball of gray, dwindling away
    I tried to think, but no thought came
    Oh what a shame!
    I blame the purple rain.

    But I couldn’t think
    My face turned pink, my eyes to ink
    And when I opened my mouth
    It only winked
    And that’s when
    I lost my mind




    Submitted on 2008-06-21 12:15:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, in all honesty, I DO like this. Its rhyme scheme is overpowering, but not bad. But what REALLY gets me, is the actual story the poem represents. Your losing your mind, all to cliché, etc. etc. etc. and then BAM a stanza opens up about your mind really hopping out of your head, and [censored] leaving you behind lol. It was unexpected, and an interpretation I would've expected to see on some stupid Saturday morning cartoon. Its goofy, simplistic, and entertaining. Good lighthearted poem.
    | Posted on 2008-06-22 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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