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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dark Night (Part II)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WhatYouWill
    Elite Ratio:    5.75 - 65/76/35
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 738



    Description:
       The second in the Dark Night Triptych


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDark Night (Part II)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Where can you be, Night?
    I am looking...
    I am searching...
    I long for your blank pages,
    your endless hours,
    the soft sounds of the bats flying...

    Where can you be, Dark?
    All I can see is the omnipresent
    and blindingly bright sun,
    and I find the blue sky unbearable.

    Where can you be, Stars?
    You are too dim to see the day.
    I know this,
    but can you not show yourselves to me,
    when I am alone in the shadowy attic?

    Where can you be, Sleep?
    My eyes are heavy,
    and I spend the hours trudging endlessly.









    Where can you be?




    Submitted on 2008-06-21 14:09:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I feel that I was too caught up in my own feelings when I commented on Part I to have given it justice and I apologize for that.

    The voice of this piece is almost pleading. I feel a need for the peace and solice of darkness...the need for respite and sleep. My favorite lines:

    "All I can see is the omnipresent
    and blindingly bright sun,
    and I find the blue sky unbearable.

    Where can you be, Stars?
    You are too dim to see the day.
    I know this,
    but can you not show yourselves to me,
    when I am alone in the shadowy attic?"

    Your pleas to the Stars...I have an affinity to the stars myself and this resonated with me.

    I find it fascinating that the bright sun and blue sky is unbearable, and that you're alone in the shadowy attic. Especially in the shadowy attic...I find I want to know more about that. That's a sign of great writing.

    This piece is not easily captured in one reading...or two or three...

    But it is intriguing and mystical and mysterious.

    And I love it.

    Lisa

    | Posted on 2008-06-22 00:00:00 | by Seagirl | [ Reply to This ]


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