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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Caught in Life's Undertowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Peggy Paris
    ASL Info:    61/F/USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.11 - 747/570/167
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 935
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 581



    Description:
       Just for information purposes, this was a challenge poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCaught in Life's Undertowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Blue streams of floating thoughts
    flow down the River Woe
    and turn to blackened grief
    within its undertow.

    To venture down its waters is to risk a grasp on life
    becoming just a victim to depression, pain, and strife.

    With anguish at each turn,
    time's rapids churn remorse;
    dark sadness strikes sharp rocks
    along life’s wayward course.

    Despair meets mere existence found afloat on misery
    reminding ev'ry drowning soul that Woe won't set you free.





    Submitted on 2008-06-22 09:50:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      wow that almost brought me to tears i loved the part as to how u sed dark sadness strikes sharp rocks
    along life’s wayward course. but i do think u can change one little thing. change blackened into a easer version of it it got really confusing right there but other then that it was really good and i meant it when it almost made me cry and i was in class when i read it!!!!!
    | Posted on 2008-10-01 00:00:00 | by vencix | [ Reply to This ]
      That read very well and depression and suffering have inspired many poems - this was a great challenge poem and I'm glad it's not from experience!

    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif ~*~
    | Posted on 2008-09-18 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      What an excellent treatise on grief and despair, presented in a rhyming poem! This has excellent structure, rhyme, and rythmn, and tells an excellent story! Bravo on a fine job, lovely lady!

    I think the reader would follow the rythmn scheme better if four line are used in the stanzas that have two long lines.

    By the way, what was the challenge?
    | Posted on 2008-06-22 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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