Fire crackling, raging inside her heart,
burning impossibility apart.
Hear the thud, pumping blood to lung.
Eager eyes gaze at a high moon hung.
Like diamonds are those eyes;
a vision so sharp, staring
towards midnight skies.
Golden irises mirror the full orb
with loving adoration.
Teeth like a sword,
bared in determination.
She smells the scent of survival.
Excitement; a predatory revival.
Paws smack an earth so covered in snow.
Natures warning; the caw of a crow.
The Chosen lifts its antlered head,
sees the creature to which
he's about to be fed.
He runs, a lightening bolt to freedom.
i thought at first read,that this was about one person hunting down the other...and that they were about to mate,thru distorted eyes maybe,it had a definite predatory feel to it...i was admittedly a little dissapointed when i realized it was about wolves! and yet it suddenly made alot more sense! point being that i got enjoyment in reading and trying to figure out ur piece,which to me shows ur skill...im actually sorry i waited this long to check out ur work! quite intresting stuff you got here...anyway,i'll be checking back soon to see what u pull out next....crazy....
This poem really does a good job of pulling out the primal nature that makes a wolf a wolf. Not to mention the imagery, diction, and non-repetitive rhyme help build a realistic night scene. You do a good job of keeping the whole thing mystical or fantastical, it makes it much more entertaining to read. Almost magical. Nice poem (and your style is enthralling).
Ok, first, I love werewolves, so I absolutely loved this as well.. The images you painted of the change and the feelings behind it were beautiful and really helped me see it in my minds eye vividly.. There were a few places where your wording made me stumble a little:
"Eager eyes gaze at a high moon hung"
I would probably reword this something like:
"Eager eyes gaze at a moon high hung"
""Paws smack an earth so covered in snow"
I would reword this a little too to something like:
"Paws smack on earth blanketed heavily in snow"
"He runs, a lightning bolt to freedom"
All I would do with this line is possibly replace "to" with "towards"..