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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Reciprocal Thingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: realpoet
    Elite Ratio:    6.53 - 797/426/257
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 59
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 873



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Reciprocal Thingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I was a kid
    I mingled with adults,
    now that I'm an adult
    I mingle with kids
    and all I do
    is bang my lips like lids;
    ist's silly to adults
    that I mingle with kids.

    But what do I care,
    all I get is adult insults
    for my mingling with kids
    and i give them my share
    of making music with lids;
    they enjoy it so much
    that I as an adult
    still have a kid's touch
    and eat my apple
    until I find a worm .

    Strange it is
    how the years lose their fizz;
    without adults
    there would be no more kids
    and without kids
    there would be no adults.

    It's sort of like
    a reciprocal thing;
    I am glad
    there are still the kids.






    Submitted on 2008-06-24 12:55:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this one a lot, even though I feel that a certain part of childhood is fading, or at least from where I'm standing...It's nice to have poetry that appreciates childhood. I feel like the world is losing it.
    The poem is based on a creative idea, or fact, should i say, I never thought about it before.
    Tell the truth, I'm still a kid, I'm holding on tight to it.
    Thank you for reminding me, for I almost forgot again.
    I don't want to lose it like everybody else my age.
    :) -dancer
    | Posted on 2008-07-31 00:00:00 | by dancer-of-words | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this write a lot. having a nephew that's three and a half, i can see the clear child vs adult conflict.

    i love the flow of the first stanza, it feels similar to a dr. suess passage, but not as confusing :P

    the last two lines in the second stanza, the bit about apple peels, kinda threw me off a bit.
    maybe, instead of "without throwing away the peels" to "to get to the core" or something along those lines ?

    the last two stanzas are great, just the discovery from the first two stanzas, and the conclusion to sum it up.

    overall a great write, thanks for sharing!

    peace.Guermo
    | Posted on 2008-06-24 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]


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