Man Trips Man -------------------------------------------
Shallow winds that whispered soft
through vacant woods at dawn.
Noble queens with mates in check
at loss of knights and pawns.
Spent men hand-held mowers pushed
on perfect landscaped lawns.
Time surrendered innocense
when human glory spawned.
Now, bold men stalk little girls
and tally playground sights.
Imbalanced minds with triggers held
in search of one more fight.
Corrugated myst'ries filed
for when the price is right.
Air and water face-to-face
with twisted winds that bite.
Secrets born in simpler times
exposed with heavy sighs.
Backs are turned as courts adjourn
with prosecuting eyes.
Worlds unknown exploit and trade
their food for parting thighs.
Truth is masked but can be seen
by those who hate the lies.
Your command of all the poetic techniques, rhyme, rhythm, tempo, diction, is baffling. You reach a scheme that is in no way repetitive, and your words are so well strung together and inventive, it simply leaves me almost drooling at the pronunciation of the stanzas. Your message of the rise and fall of our society was spot on, we went from kings and queens in our own right to rapist and killers. And how we all seemingly turn our backs on the problems all around us. It's odd to find someone who commands language and alliteration as well as you do, people have been breaking away from styles like that to simple rhymes and write about the same topics again and again and again. Thank you for the pleasant change of pace. +fav
This is a very powerful piece. What's amazing to me is that you can bring such horros to light and it sounds beautiful at the same time...beautifully tragic. Your ability to rhyme is something I envy...I'm not at all good at that.
You've brought important issues we face as a society in poetic form. I find that very unique.
I especially love the poignant innocence of the first verse. And these lines are brave - the part about truth is almost a call to arms.
"Worlds unknown exploit and trade
their food for parting thighs.
Truth is masked but can be seen
by those who hate the lies."
Very well done. I'll be reading more of your work!
Submission Name: Man Trips Man
