This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

an arms race in your sk(prison)in


Author: silentpoison
ASL Info:    22/F/Teh Shire
Elite Ratio:    2.67 - 204 /259 /118
Words: 201
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1323
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1298



Description:




an arms race in your sk(prison)in



We're losing signs of life
no more laughter
or heartfelt sighs
we are the children of what
they create
starting WWIII
using us as ammo
in the newest arms race
coutries colliding
and freedoms in hiding
it's canada's cold war
and bomb shells are creating
shelters underground
just for safe keeping
ideals falling like acid rain
for our eating
consumption of lies
chewing through family ties
while umbilical cords choking
as we deepthroat your religion
we smother it in smoke
cause your lungs are collapsing
you're breathing in ignorance
and shitting out your free mind
they'll sensor your hands
so the deaf go unnoticed
droves screaming out-loud
but no ones stays focused
take a deep breathe
and fog up this paper
is your vision just blurring
or are we all sinking deeper
Sucking it dry for 10 bucks an hour
it Came to
and went limp
like you've been drinking for days
cause time passes by
and we're living 9-5
taking it hard
just to live
just to survive




Submitted on 2008-06-25 01:45:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I honestly think that this is amazing. The pictures painted by the words are perfect, which is what I believe the writter is supposed to do. this sucked my in from beginning to end.
"we smother it in smoke
cause your lungs are collapsing
you're breathing in ignorance
and [censored]ting out your free mind" was my favorite part of this whole peice, it just stuck in my brain who blatantly ignorant so many people are. keep it up...
~Darkest Flaw~
| Posted on 2008-07-01 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]
  Excellent, Excellent. i think you just made it into my favorites, with this piece of art. All the symbolism and metaphors just really hit home with this piece it's totally original and totally inspiring. Good work!
| Posted on 2008-06-26 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



162954