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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: It Was Almost Lovelydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EEKS
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 647/1072/602
    Words: 322
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 143
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1935



    Description:
       unfinished


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIt Was Almost Lovelydots
    -------------------------------------------


    In response to your nonexistent suicide that never was I can only say good day to you my lonely lovely almost best friend
    and in conclusion of your remote and unresponsive audience I must only say my apologies and better luck time next
    Hopefully you'll draw a better crowd next time around
    and so it goes with any young undead
    you'll live to see tomorrow and you will still die another day
    How lovely and depressing is our reality and slight existing

    I thought I saw your mouth moving but I suppose you were only dancing
    I guess you might have been singing along but I didn't hear any music for any melancholy song
    About your new start, I have my doubts
    You're falling behind and haven't even left the ground

    We thought they were stars but the city lights were just playing tricks in our eyes
    It was a shock and surprise but I guess I'm getting over the unreal reality that follows you and I
    You're too wrong for me with every twist of fate from your bright eyes to your sugar toned smile
    You wrote your love letters on my bloody knees and you thought you could fix me
    But I'm bruising easy and the scratches are still bleeding

    I thought I saw you dancing but you were just checking your reflection
    Maybe you were humming but I only heard the air conditioner running
    and the bumps on my arms weren't from fear, I was just freezing
    So damn anemic
    I'm not afraid of starting again, I'm just afraid in general I guess

    About your fresh start, I have my doubts
    You made my cry, not once, not twice but countless times
    And you're oh so wrong for me, from start to dreadful finish
    But it seems such a sham to give in when this was
    almost the loveliest thing I have ever seen




    Submitted on 2008-06-25 02:42:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with Piper, at first read it seems jumbled up and a little confused. but after a second take it makes more sense. my only advice is punctuation. I think thart's why it was hard to understand the first time through. but other than that I thought it was a ver good unfinished peice. "Maybe you were humming but I only heard the air conditioner running
    and the bumps on my arms weren't from fear, I was just freezing
    So damn anemic" was my favorite part... I'd like to read it when you"re finished...
    ~Darkest Flaw~
    | Posted on 2008-07-01 00:00:00 | by Darkest Flaw | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it. Wanna know why? Because it seems to make no sense at all. But if you read it carefully, it makes a lot of sense.
    You said it was unfinished. Well, keep up this way and it'll turn out great. :)

    Love and keep on writing,
    Eliza
    | Posted on 2008-06-26 00:00:00 | by Piper | [ Reply to This ]


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