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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Elephantdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Epoch
    Elite Ratio:    0.89 - 0/1/10
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 47
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 351



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsElephantdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Unfurling over your shoulders
    Your arms taut, reaching
    Dark silken waves wash over
    Your eyes, keen and pondering
    Smiling to return my gaze
    Blinking slowly in acknowledgment
    You see me watching,
    You know I'm adoring,
    The elephant in the room,
    The one we're both ignoring.




    Submitted on 2008-06-25 09:52:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This piece is really kind of vague. I don't much care for it, except the ending which is really strong. With a little work this piece could be astounding. Just a few more details to make it more relatable to your reader.
    | Posted on 2008-06-26 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]



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