Chapter One- the unspeakable goodbye
Once Jamie was on the plane she realized that all hope was gone. She could no longer see her father as she did every day. Although she is too young to understand what her mother and father were going through, she felt as if she were the one to blame for all their problems. She and her brother were not very close, mainly because he was two years older than she was and was always gone. Because she had no one to talk to most of the time, she developed a problem with her speech, and of course became very shy. Jamie was traumatized, for that day on the plane will be engraved in her memory forever.
Later that day while Jamie was drifting away, as she always had done, her mother asked her what she was feeling. Jamie just looked up at her other with upcoming tears and said, “I don’t know,” she turned towards the window. With the ending of that discussion, Jamie continued to day dream.
As their flight had ended, they were taken off the plane to find that only her grandmother was standing by the exit waiting for her. From excitement she ran over, and wrapped what little arms she could tightly around her grandmother. They traveled to her grandmother’s home, which she had called for some reason home sweet home, I wish I could say the same thing about my house, Jamie thought while washing for dinner. They ate one of Jamie’s favorite dinners, which just so happened to be lasagna. For some reason Jamie seemed to be fond of that dish.
The next morning she awoke to find that her mother was gone. Without questioning she ate breakfast and continued with her day. Jamie and her grandmother always had their special ways of sharing the day together. First, the day started by eating breakfast then continued on by seeing who could fold the bathroom towels the neatest while being entertained by the well-known show, the Price is Right. At about three thirty, California time, her mother returned with a blue suitcase, which she had claimed as one that was misplaced during the flight. Jamie and her grandmother had been so busy in their own little world they never really questioned her mothers behavior. It wasn’t even a year after that; Jamie’s grandmother was murdered by some psychopath claiming that Jamie’s mother had owed him money.
Now after her grandmother’s death, Jamie and her mother moved further up coast. Jamie was about ten when she had met her first true friend. She feared that one day her friend would also leave her, but she could not stand the thought of being without her, for she found comfort in her. One day a strange man came to her house to visit her mother, he was quite short and ruggedly dressed, he had one hand in his pocket and the other holding a small puppy, leaning down on one knee he said, “well aren’t you the most gorgeous young lady I’ve ever had the pleasure to lay my eyes on, he handed Jamie the puppy as though to say it was a gift.
Through time the puppy and Jamie became very close, it would never leave her side, it seemed to be a bond unbreakable even to man. She also learned about the ruggedly dressed man and grew to love him for she had looked up to him as the father she had never gotten to know. Years went by with this loving man by her side, until one day she came home from school only to find that the man, who she had grown very fond of, and her new friend were gone. Jamie’s mother tried to explain that the man was not as sweet and kind as he had led her to believe and that he took the puppy out of spite. Jamie had become weary of the truth, and shutdown all her inner happiness so that she would never be hurt again. That fact was that through the time she had spent with her mother, Jamie had grown a true hatred for her, and longed for the day when her father would return and whisk her from the awful place she once called home.
Chapter two: The beauty from within
Jamie was a beautiful girl; she actually had become more and more beautiful every day. This was and inexplicit problem as she had ventured into junior high. Jamie’s 13th birthday was coming in about five days and she was very excited, for this was the first time she felt that the year would be different. Her father may return by her mother’s side and she may once again be reunited with her long lost brother. Jamie always had dreams about seeing her father again. She finally realized that it would be wise to never bring anything about her father to her mother again. It was a wound deep inside, which would never heal.
Jamie was usually a very calm girl, but when she felt her life was in any way shape or form being endangered she would say something. Mothers wild night, this was what she had called it. The night where her mother would invite all these strange people over, who smelled of what Jamie could only describe as old dirty dog with a faint scent of tequila. While the party was going Jamie was told to stay out of sight. “I guess that’s a way my mother wants to protect me, but sometimes I feel as if she were hiding me from a future like the wicked witch would do to the princess in all the fairy tales I’ve heard,” she said to herself. Well whatever the reason was, Jamie did as she was told and kept to herself.
While she was ‘out of sight’ Jamie would usually find any kind of reading material she could to escape from this horrible nightmare of a life she was having, she somehow through all of this managed to keep hope for something better. As she was reading, a man slightly opened her door peeked his head in and said, “Well this isn’t the bathroom.” Jamie jumped in shock of the man as he entered further into her room. “You know your mother is a very lucky woman to have such a well-behaved child, not to mention with beauty as well,” she turned blushing with flattery. “Can I sit with you?” the man asked as he began to sit without permission further granted, Jamie normally never talked to strange me who just wander spontaneously into her room at night, and this man did give her horrible vibes as he inched in closer to her, “you don’t speak much,” he inched in even closer, now he was just below her bed. She kept her eyes on her book because she did not want to be involved with this man. He placed his hand over her book causing her to lose focus on it and look up. As she met his eyes she saw something that would constantly remind her of all her mother’s wrong choices for her, he had bloodshot eyes and she could smell alcohol on his breath or clothing, she couldn’t determine with it was, and didn’t want to find out so she backed away until her back was up against the wall. He started to touch her leg and kiss her. While he was aggressively touching her, she whimpered trying to pull away. She had pulled away at least twice, but she could not resist his fury. Finally she had a loose foot and kicked in the groin. He moaned in agony as she ran to the door, he must have locked it because she hadn’t managed to get out yet. He quickly recovered and as she let out a scream he grabbed her. The music, blasting in the other room, affected anyone from hearing her scream. He was in her room for about forty-five minutes when he finally left. Jamie was crushed she couldn’t believe God would allow such a horrible man to live.
Hours later when the party had died she left her room hoping to find her mother alone with a smile on her face ready to comfort her, but she saw that the man hadn’t left but was passed out beside her mother. She quickly ran to the bathroom cleaned herself up and snuck out the front door. Jamie looked for any kind of comfort she could find. Jamie traveled until she found herself standing in front of her friends’ house. During the few weeks that Jamie attended school, she met a friend who took her under her wing and helped her around the school. “Hey,” her friend said while coming closer to Jamie. She was then greeted with a hug, “I was kind of wondering when you would be back here to visit me.” Luckily for Jamie, her friend lived only a block or two away from her, well at least that’s what she had counted. Jamie figured she could waste enough time for her mother to sober up and kick the bad man out of the house, this was the only name that she could use to describe him without going into curse words, she felt that using those types of words would allow her to become her mother and its already bad enough I’m related to her, she thought to herself. Jamie joined her friend for dinner and later had some wonderfully made cherry pie. “I am very grateful for everything you have given me tonight, but I must go home because it’s getting late” she had begun her journey home when her friend suddenly screamed, “wait!” Jamie stopped and turned only to see her friend running to her side. “I don’t think you should walk home alone, so I’ll go with you.” Jamie agreed and continued with her friend, they had a long talk about how if she ever needed anything she could ask and her friend would help her no matter what.
When Jamie had reached her destination she told her friend she’d see her later, little did she know she was in for a horrible awakening. While she was on the steps she envisioned her mother wrapping her in her arms and loving her again. Coming back to reality, she entered the house finding her mother lying in a pool of blood on the floor; she hurried to her side and tried to help her up. What happened that night would not surpass her mind as the day she finally saw what a real family was like. She would remember the picture of her mother lying on the floor, bleeding to death, while she had the time of her life.
Chapter 3: the sacredness of life
After that terrible night Jamie realized how sacred her life and others were. She and her mother had to move to another state because of her so called ‘new job’. When in all actuality her mother was running again from someone or something. Jamie’s mother soon healed as do most of the drug addicts, only to return to their own pathetic self, she also found a new boyfriend, who once again treated Jamie’s as if she were an object. Jamie spent most of her time at school trying to get what little education she could, and the time out of school would be spent away from home because of ‘the man’. As the lonely weeks went by Jamie found that she was eager to know more about her father, one day when she actually went home she overheard her mother talking on the phone. “No, you can’t see her, not until you give me money you owe in child support,” the phone call ended before Jamie could reach the other phone to listen. “Jamie is that you?” her mother called as she took a drag of her cigarette. Jamie sat her books on the table, “yes mom.” She walked towards her “I got a new job” Jamie played dumb while asking, “Oh is that who you were talking to on the phone?”
her mother quickly changed the subject “you are going to have to help out here with things, which means you need to stay home more that you usually are.” “I’m really trying to fix things in our life, you me and bill need to live in a better environment which means we need money, and because bill is so busy doing what he does.” Jamie rolled her eyes while looking away. He is not even worth of being in the same sentence with my real mother, but now that she thought about it, her mother had changed so much that she wasn’t even her anymore.
“I’m going to be gone most the nights so ill be counting on you for help, don’t forget I love you very much,” she ended the conversation with the five dreadful words.
Jamie hated those words, only because she felt guilty in loving such an atrocious acting woman. Only because she’s my mother, Jamie thought to herself, would I love such a woman.
With no intentions of staying home she nodded, “ok sure.” The conversation ended as bill entered the room, “hey my two favorite girls are here,” he said with whisky on his breath. Jamie looked at him and sighed as she walked out the front door.
While Jamie walked around outside she noticed a little book on the same road crying. She approached him suspiciously and saw that he was only six years old. “Hey don’t cry, you can tell me what’s wrong?” The boy looked up at her startled by Jamie’s presence and said, “My mommy left me and I don’t know where to go.” He sniffled a little when Jamie began to say. “Oh do you know where she went?” Jamie then sat down beside him. “No, I woke up this morning and she was gone.” “Well if you want I can stay here until she comes back.” “That will help I guess,” he said while wiping his tears. “What’s your name?” “Michael,” he sighed softly. “My brother’s name is Michael, that’s a good name to have.” “Where’s your brother at?” He asked with curiosity. “He’s with my dad I think.” A tear dropped from her eye. “Where’s your mom at, is she with your dad too?” “No unfortunately they split up and I ended up with her.” Changing the subject she asked him if here was hungry. She searched her pockets for any loose change and came up with two dollars and fifty cents. They went to the nearest McDonalds and ordered from the dollar menu. After eating they went to the library where she could read him some uplifting stories about real families who truly cared about each other. These stories not only touched Michael but had also touched Jamie’s as well because she to needed someone to care for her.
As the library was about to close a woman approached Jamie and asked if there was any relation between her and Michael, of course Jamie’s said no because that was the truth. The woman told Jamie to follow her to the back office. She asked Jamie a series of questions following a picture of a little boy who was missing and just so happened to have the name as Michael, the boy’s last name was Yachvy and a strange woman took him when he was just a baby. Jamie never figured to ask him what his last name was but she figured it was him, under the picture there was a number which the father and mother could be contacted. Jamie called from the library and talked with the parents, they met at the library and it was just like the fairytale “Hansel and Gretel” when they saw their father again. She had hoped that they would take her with them and rescue her from the nightmare she was in, but because of the law situation she couldn’t go. She said her goodbyes and headed home.
Her mother was gone on her new job and bill was passed out on the couch, she quickly snuck into her room and locked her door. The next day she awoke to find bill sitting beside her door, startling him he looked up at her saying in a faint voice “why did you lock your door?” She quickly walked passed him and said, “I guess when I went to sleep I accidentally locked it.” “Ohh,” he stated giving her the idea that he didn’t buy the story. After the encounter with bill she entered the kitchen and saw her mother’s poor attempt at breakfast. She was sleeping in her bed, instead of disturbing her Jamie left.
By the time her mother had the new job; Jamie was 16 and ready for love. She ran into many guys who only saw her for her looks and had no intention of love. She was fooled, hurt and also abused many times until one day she met someone new. Jamie was going about her regular routine when a girl approached her. She figured the girl would go right passed her, besides only the guys talked to Jamie. The girl stopped and asked Jamie what her plan for her life was.
Jamie froze, and thought for the first time, answering the girl, “You know, I haven’t thought about it yet.” She said yet as if she had ever thought about life, she figured her life was a waste if God put her into so many bad situations that hurt her. The girl stood stunned from the answer Jamie gave her, “you haven’t thought about it, well why not?” Jamie answered the question with a quick shrug of the shoulders and started to walk away. “Wait!” The girl stopped her. “Will you talk to me; I’ve been curious what runs through that pretty little blonde head of yours, and doubt with those words you will leave.” “What are you saying about me?” Jamie snapped back. “You are not insinuating that I am easy, are you?” “No, I just see how the guys treat you and honestly I see there may be more potential for a girl with much of that beauty.” That day Jamie found her first true friend, one that will never leave her and she would always be able to count on, Jamie found herself.
Chapter 4: Growing is such sweet sorrow
The day Jamie turned 17 she had many new problems. When she hit puberty, Bill had grown fond of her. And because she was growing into a beautiful young woman, she had to hide herself for she feared Bill would harm her.
She felt that Bill could do more damage to her, more damage she thought to herself, ha. She then fell into a memory, Bill was waiting for her after school and when she had gotten there he started to touch her, then began to smack her violently because she went to school. When he was smacking her around, she began to scream. Snapping back to reality she realized she was screaming in her class, fear of embarrassment she ran quickly out of the room and landed on the floor. The teacher came as quick as she could and picked Jamie up off the floor, “Jamie, Jamie,” she cried as she felt the warmth of Jamie’s body with her hands.
By the time Jamie had gained back her full consciousness she realized that she was in a white room, all the thoughts were running in her head like wild animals in a jungle, she felt as though she had been asleep for a while although she could not grasp how long. Suddenly a man with a white suit came in and looked over Jamie, “so this is the girl?” he said with a deep voice, a voice answered that she felt was very familiar to her, it was the school nurse. Jamie then realized that the man in the white suit she had also seen around, for he was a local deputy in the county she lived in. Another officer came in; she had heard by the man in the white suit that this officer’s name was James. He was pleasantly dressed with a smile on his face he then whispered, “She’s beautiful,” Jamie could only smile a small smile but the officer understood what she was trying to say to him. He then laid a hand on her forehead and said, “It will be alright, I will protect you.” She smiled again, this time a bigger smile and then went to sleep.