Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Failed Flightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 270
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 357
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1706



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFailed Flightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I have no real say on my life
    I can't even let myself weep
    I have no control inside my head
    Nor do I champion my sleep

    I'm trapped in my shell
    I'm flipped upside down
    I struggle towards my feet
    But just tumble on the ground

    I saw you walk away
    It wasn't really that quick
    I just couldn't follow
    I can't seem to find the trick

    There has to be a way
    To roll over on my own
    Others come and go all of the time
    But in the end I'm still alone

    You'd think I'd rest easy
    To know that you're happy
    But withdraw creeps up my spine
    You know you can still have me

    But you continue to stroll further
    Your shadow is all I see
    Even your shape is beautiful
    As you always were to me

    You seem to not even notice
    All my begs for your return
    I plea your name a thousand times
    You seem the least bit concerned

    I dream you back every night
    Yet awake like a fool
    Fantasies feed regret
    My heart's the willing tool

    You could take me with you, you know
    Didn't have to leave me alone
    Atleast flip me over now
    And I will never cast a stone

    For I'm sure you've had your reasons
    However flawed they seem
    Can't dry off in the rain, understand
    However hard it may be

    Your life led you elsewhere
    Yet ours was merely a try
    I see you found your wings now
    Come back and teach me to fly




    Submitted on 2008-06-27 04:48:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163037

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Records I written by Raphael
    Fasade written by jackz
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Love written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry