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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Joshuadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lebeauvide
    Elite Ratio:    2.88 - 75/183/87
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 691



    Description:
       He is my favorite mistake.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Joshuadots
    -------------------------------------------


    My angel rests with folded wings
    Containing himself in a dark embrace
    He is the victim of his own device
    An angel thrown from the presence of Grace



    Joshua, he is called:
    Named for the God he denies
    Tears of molten heartache flow
    From my angel's crystal eyes



    I reach out to give him comfort,
    But from me he turns away
    He is made to live in solitude,
    For that is his price to pay.



    How could I love one so cruel?
    How could such a romance be?
    This angel that I claim as my own,
    Will never belong to me.




    Submitted on 2008-06-27 16:49:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. This is really interesting. And by interesting...I mean that it pretty much rocks socks. Seriously, you use beautiful descriptions--almost as if one could see those crystal eyes you describe.


    I really like ..'tears of molten heartache'. That's cool.


    Suggestion: in the lines....

    My angel rests with folded wings
    Containing himself in a dark embrace
    He is the victim of his own device
    An angel thrown from the presence of Grace

    Could it be made...

    My angel rest with folded wings
    containing himself in dark embrace
    the victim of his own device
    An angel thrown from the presence of Grace.


    Anyways it rocks. Great Job!


    ~xoxo~
    Sweets
    | Posted on 2008-06-27 00:00:00 | by SweetAndOhSoME | [ Reply to This ]



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