Love's Memory by Peggy Paris

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Love's Memory dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Peggy Paris
ASL Info:	60/F/USA
Elite Ratio:	4.12 - 723/561/167
Words:	109

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	68
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	798

Description:

Love's Memory dots

-------------------------------------------

At twilight, when day's done,
Moon faces toward the setting sun
To bid her rays adieu
And smile upon the likes of you.

As darkness deepens wide
Across the hills and countryside,
Each star shines bright and true
Just like the love I promise you.

Tonight, our bodies soar
To heights that speak of evermore
In silent moments spent
Embracing love with hearts content.

Each heartbeat, breath, and sigh
Makes passion's flow intensify
Until we melt content
Within the moment twilight lent.

If time could only pause,
This night would offer ample cause
For nothing else could be
More perfect than love's memory.

Submitted on 2008-06-27 19:24:33 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  As always, an excellent poem from one of my favourite authors.

I love the way you personified the moon and the sun, the moon blocking out the suns ray and smiling back on him, I can almost see the moon wicking at you. A Great way to portrait his anxiousness for the memory to be born,

As his love for you, your love shines back on him, this love is alive and in you, which makes this more than just a memory.

In line two, the meter seems off, it ends in a single beat with the "sun", a great way to emphasise the strong sun or its bright rays, although I do not think it was you intention.

Another great write,
| Posted on 2008-07-04 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]
  AH! Someone that understands how to rhyme well. Too often I see people force rhymes out, and they can't work that way at all. It must flow or it will never work right. I am normally against the rhyme, but you do it well so hats off on this.

I also love the idea of finding beauty in the darkness of twilight. I have nothing to offer you but praise here.

| Posted on 2008-06-28 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a beautiful piece:) I loved these lines:

"Until we melt content
Within the moment twilight lent"

I thought it was a great view that the twilight had given them this moment, rather then the characters taking it. It makes the poem seem softer overall, more romantic than quick sex.

I love the last stanza as well, the idea that this one night should be the temptation time needs to stand still, just for its perfection and love.

Truly great write:)

-Steph
| Posted on 2008-06-28 00:00:00 | by SheetMusic | [ Reply to This ]
  Aaah, love's memory! As precious, almost, as the reality! And, a coal to keep love's fires burning always! Lovely, delightful, and wistful love poem! Another excellent poem, Sharon!

| Posted on 2008-06-27 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

163057

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]