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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Melancholydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Roselize
    Elite Ratio:    2.92 - 21/26/19
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 80
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 516



    Description:
       Written when I was really angry and depressed.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMelancholydots
    -------------------------------------------


    A menacing feeling,
    Just came through my door,
    It stained black my windows,
    I've met it before,

    And as it approaches,
    It catches my breath,
    This feeling is murder,
    This feeling is death,

    It's stopping my thoughts,
    It's clouding my mind,
    It's staining my senses,
    And making me blind,

    I'm writing this poem,
    In hope you will see:
    A dangerous feeling,
    Is melancholy




    Submitted on 2008-06-28 07:35:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||
      I feel this is great work. You first describe the menace with out naming it. You then you then tell us your emotional response to this threat. Then you describe the actual affect it has on you. Then finally you name it.

    It was raw and simple, but with a depth you don't often find in "raw, simple" work. This is a good direction for you I feel you should explore the darkness a bit farther to see what beauty you might uncover within the black.
    | Posted on 2008-06-28 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]


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