Smile at the Bubbles by tennisfuzz

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Submission Name: Smile at the Bubbles dots

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Author:	tennisfuzz
ASL Info:	18/F/here.
Elite Ratio:	5.92 - 78/91/35
Words:	131

Class/Type:	Poetry/Happy
Total Views:	91
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	774

Description:
This piece isn't meant to be sophisticated, I wrote it for fun in a few minutes for someone. It's two different poems that I just put together because the meaning behind both is the same.

Smile at the Bubbles dots

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smile :)

I've been thinking about this, and I've been thinking about that, and I've been thinking about why I keep stealing your hat.

But you know, some things you just can't explain.

Like the feeling I get when you whisper my name, or the reason my love for you is never the same, because it just won't stop.

It grows every day.

Bubbles...

I've got a bubble gum heart. It's juicy, pink, and soft. It's been chewed on an placed gently into it's wrapper, and it's been munched on and smashed onto the back of that shoe. But for you it's stretched. You create bubbles like no ones else can as my heart grows for you.

Submitted on 2008-06-28 08:30:06 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  They're both sweet and cute, but the second one, feels perfectly simple. Matter-of-fact and really satisfying.

I've been looking for some whimsy, and you just gave me my daily dose
| Posted on 2008-08-22 00:00:00 | by etheror | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. I have never heard anyone compare their heart to bubble gum. This is very original and I like it a lot even thought it's is a little on the sappy side which is perfectly ok, I just don't seem to gravitate towards those kinds of works. none-the-less this piece was very well written and it expresses your true feelings for this person in a unique way. Great job!

--Oli
| Posted on 2008-07-06 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, it is a fun poem all around, neatly, nicely and very niftily penned... original and enjoyed it a ton. bravo... bravo... bravo...
| Posted on 2008-07-02 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  I think the metaphor is a good one. You just need to take it from feeling less like a journal entry and more like poetry.

annie0888
| Posted on 2008-06-30 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]
  Well there are a few typos, but they seem like they are accidental through typing rather than misspellings.. This is a very creative write and I just love the analogy of the heart portrayed as a piece of bubble gum, soft and giving and easily molded as all our hearts are towards those we love..
Very beautiful..

Tiffany aka Maskannai
| Posted on 2008-06-28 00:00:00 | by Maskannai | [ Reply to This ]
  Very Very creative and I thought extremely descriptive
The bubble gum reference is perfect and is what I feel carries this poem
Thank You for sharing this
You definately have talent my Friend
I Look forward to more Creative writes like this in the future from you
Please if you geta chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
God Bless
Ron
| Posted on 2008-06-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  This is amazing and really creative. :)
| Posted on 2008-06-28 00:00:00 | by dancer-of-words | [ Reply to This ]

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