Interstellar Love by AsiaticFox

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Submission Name: Interstellar Love dots

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Author:	AsiaticFox
ASL Info:	19/M/Universe
Elite Ratio:	6.15 - 162/151/126
Words:	86

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	67
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	606

Description:
Stroll with me and feel love in your heart.

Interstellar Love dots

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As I stroll through fields
of stars, the galaxies
are quiet.

Not even the solar winds
blow through my hair.

For without love,
what need of sound
does space have?

I am lonely, and so I have come
to commune with the night sky.

We are both quiet.
And in this silence,
a gentle understanding
emerges.

“I have come to share
what little love I have
with you.”

The stars shine brightly.
I shine brightly.

Night turns to day.

Submitted on 2008-06-28 19:39:13 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
This is much better than the previous one I reviewed of yours. The subdued softness of the beginning, the beautiful burning imagery of the last two stanzas. The concept that just a little love can do so, so much. Very well done.

The only thing I would change about it is to take out 'I am lonely, and so I have come/to commune with the night sky.' I'd prefer if you would let the reader figure that out for themselves. It's not exactly difficult to figure out, and I feel that this stanza is too blunt, too straight-forward.

The last three lines are my favorite, but 'For without love,/what need of sound/does space have?' is a close second. It makes me feel like a tunnel filled with wind and honeysuckle blossoms.

| Posted on 2008-07-01 00:00:00 | by saartha | [ Reply to This ]
This poem REALLY struck me, mostly because of the inherent similarities between your situation and mine.

"For without love,
what need of sound
does space have?"

what a pretty way of saying without love life is hardly lived.

I too feel or have felt a certain solace in the lonely night, but at the same time i've also felt at place in the same environment. Though lately the morbid moon and few scattered stars haven't been enough to alleviate the loneliness i've been feeling nightly.

But I have to admit, watching smoke trails as they drift lazily up to the moon has become a certain pastime of mine. From my mouth to the moon, I send messages in puffs of smoke.
| Posted on 2008-06-29 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]

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