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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Zion in Diamondsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EmpathicAya
    ASL Info:    12+6/unMale/Your Mind
    Elite Ratio:    7.64 - 626/369/80
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 114
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 693



    Description:
       Well...
    ~Azura*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsZion in Diamondsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    He was bare. Clad
    in nothing
    but searing sun and blood
    and sweat he shed searching
    for freedom. For God.

    His hands came down hard
    on the land,
    boiling with rage, overflowing
    with red seeping
    to color the soil
    he raped. For freedom and God.

    Because they had nothing left
    to take after his wife, his children, His
    Soul surrounding him,
    teasing, like
    the black waters he stood in,

    But he saw white, always white, only
    Light. It was at the end,
    of the tunnel, end of the life he spent
    searching for diamonds, for freedom.
    For God.




    Submitted on 2008-06-29 13:02:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I don't want to have to fave two poems in a day, much less by the same person, but I guess I'm just going to have to.
    | Posted on 2008-07-31 00:00:00 | by LunaMoth | [ Reply to This ]
      Everything passion said. This is so intense. And it is defintitely NOT cr-p. A fave. Submit this! And keep writing.

    Peace, love and all that other junk,

    Joe
    | Posted on 2008-07-07 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
      I absolutely purely loved this poem. Its a hard one to write a comment for, because I'm worried I dont have the best grasp on the meaning of the poem. I can still recognize the beauty it presents.

    "He was bare. Clad
    in nothing
    but searing sun and blood
    and sweat he shed searching
    for freedom. For God."

    This stanza starts off the poem beautifully. It paints such a picture of primal man, with sweat and blood, barely clad. Our struggle for freedom, and understanding.

    "His hands came down hard
    on the land,
    boiling with rage, overflowing
    with red seeping
    to color the soil
    he raped. For freedom and God."

    This one hits you like BAM. Fists striking the hard earth, rage, blood, soil. What startlingly pure imagery. All in the struggle to find freedom and understanding.

    "Because they had nothing left
    to take after his wife, his children, His
    Soul surrounding him,
    teasing, like
    the black waters he stood in,"

    This one slows it down, talks about loss. Its all very realistic, it makes you reconsider your own life.

    "But he saw white, always while, only
    Light. It was at the end,
    of the tunnel, end of the life he spent
    searching for diamonds, for freedom.
    For God."

    This one just sums it up. The end of the tunnel. The search for diamonds, freedom and god. Beautiful picture, though a little teary.

    Enjoyed the read.



    | Posted on 2008-06-29 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]


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