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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Strings Attacheddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 763
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 894



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStrings Attacheddots
    -------------------------------------------


    What if I say I'm down,
    and I'm still all alone?
    what if I called or text,
    but you don't check the phone?
    what if my emails,
    don't get through to you,
    what if he fails?...
    are we, too or two?

    Should I say he's not worth it,
    when neither am I?
    when I suppress this flame,
    the aether inside?
    what if my words,
    don't get through to you?
    what if he fails,
    are we, too or two?

    What if the “what ifs”
    are stuck in my mind?
    what if I've got feelings,
    I've trapped all inside?
    what if my words,
    never got through to you?
    what if I failed--
    are we, too or two...?

    And I'm trying hard not to get strangled
    Because there will always be strings attached




    Submitted on 2008-06-30 19:12:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I loved it. My favorite was the What If's part.
    What if, what if, what if? Isnt that always, the question.
    And the of course the last part. Im trying not be strangled bcuz there are still strings attached.
    Great wording.
    And of course I know the feeling, so I can relate to it.
    Very good write!
    | Posted on 2008-07-15 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well, but some of the lines threw the flow off. And I didn't quite understand "are we, too or two?" It was a very good poem, but maybe a little more detail would make it magnificent. Could be just me, probabally is. Just a suggestion though. Keep up the nice work, and I'll keep reading

    Haely
    | Posted on 2008-07-01 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      yay
    'nough said =p
    | Posted on 2008-06-30 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]


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