I have sinned by paulenaafo

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Submission Name: I have sinned dots

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Author:	paulenaafo
Elite Ratio:	0.52 - 0/1/1
Words:	69

Class/Type:	Poetry/Nature
Total Views:	150
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	485

Description:

I have sinned dots

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I have sinned
The things I have done
I have sinned
My feet, my eyes, ears, mouth, hands
I have sinned
I have walked through it
Seen what eyes forbid
Heard and done nothing
Spoke repetitively
Felt lustfully, my hands my body
I have sinned
What I have become, how it carries on
From generation to generation
Cursed past, suffocate the present
Change the future
I have sinned

Submitted on 2008-07-01 02:50:46 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
This piece is really repetative. It relies to heavily on "I have sinned." I know this is a key point of the work, but it really just kind of shoves it down your throat. The whole idea of the piece is wonderful though. With a little work, and maybe expanding this could be a great work.
| Posted on 2008-07-02 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]

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