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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Angel's Pleadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Sirbongatron
    ASL Info:    19/M/NC
    Elite Ratio:    4.74 - 19/18/21
    Words: 335
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 132
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1896



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAngel's Pleadots
    -------------------------------------------


    Gemmed blades slice the hands
    Of the guardian crossing the lands
    Blue sun rise
    With a blood red moon
    Marking the time coming soon
    A crystal spring may run on by
    As he’s lost in dark’s lullaby

    Beast of sorts which haunt with dread
    Lurk within the trees ahead
    Behind his neck a breath does kiss
    As he stops to realize this
    Dropping to his knees to pray
    His angel’s there to hear him say
    He is lost within an unknown land
    And waiting for her to take his hand

    And with concern upon her face
    She drops to him with angel’s grace
    An angel broken, with tattered wings
    And barely hope for many things
    But with concern and utmost caring
    She lowers to this guardian, staring

    As a tear rolls down her cheek
    She reaches out so soft and meek
    Pale white fingers, of the angel divine
    With the guardians do entwine
    Gently as if just a breeze
    She stands up slightly on her knees
    And with the kiss of her breath
    Whispers all that he has left,

    “Dear guardian for me you pray
    And yet I’ve told you I’m here to stay.
    My wings are broken, tattered, and torn,
    And yet for they aren’t so worn,
    I’ll be right here by your side
    And sweep you in the gentle tide

    Whisking you away in the wind
    To the light, and not your end
    Before you lies much unknown
    For never is it set in stone
    But this I promise you though you might not see
    I will always forever be guarding thee.

    Take my hand guardian so dear
    And forget your thoughts and dreaded fear
    I am your angel who’s come to take your hand
    Now follow me out, of this darkened land”




    Submitted on 2008-07-01 14:50:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Hello Stranger. ;)

    I have to tell you first of all that I was listening to some new music whilst reading this - Jakob Dylan. Interesting experience, that. Sort of entrancing. Adds to the imagery.

    And the imagery! What a spectrum it was, colorful, and captivating. My brain is extremely visual. It's like having a television (in technicolor, even!) inside my head. I very much appreciated the picture you painted in this piece.

    My one complaint is the rhyming. For such a beautiful story, the rhyme restricts it. I don't know if you always us rhyme in your poetry. If that's the case, I highly suggest trying some free verse. For someone with a story as enchanting as this, it should be given free range of words. Expand your writing horizons!

    Overall, a good piece. Perhaps I'll read more of your work later.

    -KF
    | Posted on 2008-07-03 00:00:00 | by Jester_Gesture | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one of the best so far I have seen on this site. One could think of this as a sort of Fantasy story. Or one could think of this as a modern soldier. One could think of this some one on the brink of dispare flirting with suicide. The beauty is I have no idea what you intended for me to see, but the best poems are most always left open to interpretation.
    | Posted on 2008-07-01 00:00:00 | by nicodemous | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW!!! there was so much emotion and imagry in this poem...i felt like i was watching all of this happen...it was sad and hopeful at the same time and that takes talent to write a good poem with such charisma and depth...great job and please keep it up

    toodles
    katie
    | Posted on 2008-07-01 00:00:00 | by Lover girl | [ Reply to This ]



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