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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 5 a.m.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: daughterofdeath
    ASL Info:    18/F/West Virginia
    Elite Ratio:    4.88 - 253/248/195
    Words: 316
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 66
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1902



    Description:
       i don't feel this way anymore, just thought i should put it up since i did write it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots5 a.m.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's 5 a.m. and I can't sleep thinking about you.
    And I'm hoping you are thinking of me too.
    I don't want to have to leave you behind.
    Cause I just can't get you out of my mind.
    But my heart won't stop beating your name.
    Without you my life won't be the same.

    And I'm racking my brain thinking about
    What I could say.
    If you would just come back in my life
    One day.
    And it's 5 a.m. but all I do is
    Think of your face.
    I wonder if there is someone who could
    Take your place.

    You're always on my mind as if I'm a fiend.
    I can even see your face on my computer screen.
    But I know that this is all in head.
    So why can't I still get myself to bed?
    Just get the courage to tell you what's wrong?
    Instead of sitting here writing this song.

    And I'm racking my brain thinking about
    What I could say.
    If you would just come back in my life
    One day.
    And it's 5 a.m. but all I do is
    Think of your face.
    I wonder if there is someone who could
    Take your place.

    It's 5a.m. yet I can't help but think about you.
    Something tells me you're not thinking about me too.
    One day I hope our lips will once again meet.
    My heart still says your name with every beat.
    My heart is crying but I won't let you hear.
    My first mistake was letting you near.

    Yet I'm racking my brain thinking about
    What I could say.
    If you would just come back in my life
    One day.
    And it's 5 a.m. but all I do is
    Think of your face.
    I wonder if there is someone who could
    Take your place.






    Submitted on 2008-07-01 19:03:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You are a great lyricist. The wonders of song are repetition. For poetry, it is the same...imposing the idea on the reader, good way of getting your point across.

    So I liked the repetition of

    "And it's 5 a.m. but all I do is
    Think of your face.
    I wonder if there is someone who could
    Take your place."

    Just sleep honey, you get nowhere thinking.
    That's my advice.

    God bless,
    Joel
    | Posted on 2008-08-26 00:00:00 | by nevender | [ Reply to This ]


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    12. Does it feel original?



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