Now, I know I should be working on my series, Flight of the Aerials, but I've decided to write this essay of sorts, if you could call it that.

Well, what exactly is this going to be about? I really don't know. Mkay, I lied, I know and have thought about it,I just don't know how to go about it exactly. Well first, at the moment there is no man on my arm, I'm alone, I have been for a while, and that is what is bringing me down. But stuff like that is unavoidable so it isn't that bad.

Mkay (yes, I really say it like that too, it isn't a typo, I just like it), on to business. Why exactly am I, and many others, lonely? There are many reasons, mine is that in my area there really aren't that many men like me (gay, bi whatever, there just aren't any), I could get some in the next town over, or in the city, but the city is too far and I don't know anyone in Hamburg who can help me so...yeah. On to my next reason!

They just don't live up to anyone's standards, this is a nice way of saying they're ugly. For you girls out there I have this too say, and a very wise and beautiful young lady told me this. All the cute guys are mean, all the nice guys aren't cute and all the cute nice guys are gay. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE! Which actually makes me sick. I've noticed that most relationships today are more style over substance, which is just messed up. I personally don't believe in this, I admit I've dated ugly men before, but they were some of the nicest and deepest people I've ever met. Shall we continue? Of course we shall.

Now, this next one is rather...interesting. Some people want to stay alone, so that people will feel sorry for them. It's true, some people actually enjoy being depressed, and this is partly true for me. Now I in know way enjoy having people feel sorry for me, but for some it's nice to know that there is someone who worries about you. Which brings me to my next point.

Pity love. I get annoyed when people say they date someone out of pity, but alas, it happens.

Hm, I've found myself in a tricky situation, I've forgotten what I actually wanted to say. I guess I could explain my own jealousy, that's usually rather juicy. I actually get quite jealous when I see other couples, or a person with someone I like. It's mainly envy, wanting it but not quite having it.

I also hate it when people use other people for romantic gain. Sex for example. "Oh lordy, the youngins had sex, GET A BIBLE!" If you are above the age of 15 and say you haven't had sex yet you are either a saint, a liar or a loser, two of those are acceptable, the other is just idiotic. Anywho, back to my rant. I was recently used by someone I really liked, for sex. It never happened though, I was wary of his reasons for wanting me back, and I'm pretty sure he was just being a horny teenager, correction...a teenager.

I know, that annoys a great many of you, that a 16 year old doesn't consider himself a teenager. I prefer the term child for me, or young adult. Both are much better than teenager.

Anywho, I've actually probably annoyed a great many of you in general. I'm sorry, but this is making me feel better, so at least I feel better...a tad better.

I've also noticedsomething else, when someone is alone have you noticed that they start to realize a lot in life? Me, for example. On both my biological brother's myspace and his wife's, they have a ton of pictures of their son. Which I find moving, he is an adorable lil guy, and he's well behaved too. But...they include everyone in those pictures, even my little sister, but me. I know it sounds pathetic, but that does hurt me. In their defense though, I only have two pictures of he and I together, but still. they aren't there.

I could rant about Jerry, but that's pushing it. Besides, my real brother Jimmy has helped me out with that subject a lot.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm unhappy but my problems aren't the worst in the world. In fact, my problems are natural, we all feel them. I am really lucky, I live a comfortable life, I have great friends and loved ones. Hell, I even have great influences (my brother Jimmy, the late Freddie Mercury, the superhero Wiccan), I'm actually doing rather well in life, hell we all are. This is just, therapy for me. My english teacher says I have a great writing voice, and that it can help me, so I guess this ius proof, for me at least.

Well, I really can't think of anything else so, I think I'll draw this to a close. I do need some nice closing phrase, don't I?

Give a hoot, don't pollute.