Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: decomposing into colourdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 176
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 365
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1233



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdecomposing into colourdots
    -------------------------------------------


    strange blood
    & how we came into it,
    these corpses of our enamored lips.
    & the spark
    that would be thrilling
    turned inside
    the palms of our eyes...

    across some sunken ship,
    whose depth
    is more than most can feel,
    i trailed the alcohol
    back to your disheveled hair
    that floated ghostly
    in my endless hand.

    the heart is as allusive
    as the fire.
    it licks away at me
    in my sleep.
    i've seen a figure
    in the distance.
    is it you,
    decomposing into colour
    the way that you do?

    i know where the ground is
    when i'm walking
    only enough to get me
    where i need to go.
    i often lose
    the words in my meaning
    as they always seem
    to be running into themselves
    with some sort
    of forceful luxury.

    i need a city
    of flowers
    to soothe this funeral
    that's from the eyes down.
    death is the place
    between the st ars.
    i'll corset my body-magick
    towards your skin
    if you'll show me
    where the light is.




    Submitted on 2008-07-02 20:43:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This piece is pretty good, it's definately not the best that I have read from you, but it is still marvelous in it's own right.

    is it you,
    decomposing into colour
    the way that you do?

    That line is just dynamite, and I couldn't think of a better title. That's what drew me to this piece in the first place.

    Best Wishes,
    jeff
    | Posted on 2008-07-03 00:00:00 | by jayisademon | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    163270

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Yes written by poetotoe
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    prison written by ShyOne
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry